Insanity of the Sane

Moving Out

2006-08-12T09:30:00.002-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Goodbye Blogger,

It's been fun while it lasted, but I have decided that it's time to move on. Onwards and upwards or upwards and onwards... whatever.

I'm moving to Wordpress... shall see you there >>> http://theinsanityofthesane.wordpress.com

And there you was getting all happy that i was gonna give up blogging eh?

Poverty in a world so full of wealth!?!

2006-08-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha'Allah you are all well,

Whilst idiots with too much money are busy making artificial Palm Islands...

Over half the world lives in poverty!

Wasalaam

Dirasah Arabiyah - Studing Arabic?

2006-08-05T14:44:00.001-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well

So it’s been ? weeks since uni finished, in fact I shall be starting again in September Insha’Allah. I am looking forward to it as it’s pretty boring at home. First year at uni was enjoyable but I hated it at the same time. I suppose I hated the environment but loved what I was studying – Al-lughah al-arabiyah. It’s a shame I’m not studying it anymore, I could have been preparing to jet off to Egypt right now, and if I had been the same person I was a year ago I would probably be going, but alhamdulillah that’s not gonna happen anymore. And though a part of me tells me I am letting go of the most exciting/important opportunity in my life, most of me knows that it’s for the best. It just increases my desire of making hijrah.

So I won’t be studying Arabic anymore at uni, that doesn’t mean I should stop studying it all. I made a plan at the start of summer to carry on with the Arabic. Review the stuff I have done, go through the other chapters of my Arabic book. And well for a while I did (a week to be exact) – I went through the vocabulary lists, reminded myself of the grammar, spoke to everyone (including myself) in Arabic. To improve my writing (well that was my excuse) I used to always write English messages in Arabic for my sister to read on my whiteboard like: يو سمل سو باد! stupid stuff like that. I even made an Iraqi friend (even if it was a 10yr old). I spent an afternoon talking to her in Arabic and even though she didn’t know much fusHah (I was teaching her :D) it helped a lot cos I dont get the chance to do a lot of speaking. It was all going well until I starting to slack. And now… well now I have forgotten it all! :(

I bought a book ages ago, before I knew any Arabic at all, in a bid to teach myself. Because I didn’t understand any of it, I left it to gather dust on my bookshelf. Today I noticed it, lying there neglected. I picked it up and had a flick through it and it was a good read. I love Arabic grammar, its SOOO hard, but SOOO interesting at the same time. Most of it made sense to me and if I made an effort it would benefit me a lot! It explains Qur’aanic grammar and so has references to the Qur’aan which is good. Also I am forgetting the grammar, which is fundamental to learning Arabic. If I let myself forget it completely, the past year of spending ages in the library trying to figure out roots of words and memorising the numerous different forms of a verb would all have been a waste of time!

Need to be a geek and start learning.

Wasalaam

The Magicians Spoke But We Stay Slient

2006-08-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are in the best of health and imaan.

'We will never choose you above the clear proofs that have come unto us, and above Him Who created us. So decree what you will decree, for you can only decree what touches the life of this world.' [20:72]

This is the response of the magicians of Firawn, who after seeing the clear proofs from Allah turned to Islaam. Subhan’Allah it’s amazing how Allah guided them. One minute they were allies of Firawn and the next they were prostrating to the All Mighty. See how Allah implanted in their hearts such faith that within minutes of belief they answered to Firawn with such firmness?

Imagine someone saying to you that they would hurt or even kill you for your belief in Allah. At that moment would you have the courage to answer back? Would you have the courage to say the words of the magicians? To have trust in Allah and know that no matter what happens it is by His will. No doubt you would feel fear, maybe in your heart you would know that if they killed you, you would have died fisabilillah, but you would certainly feel fear. Because this Ummah lacks the Imaan of those magicians.

The signs are so many, each ayaah in the Qur’aan is a clear proof from Allah, but instead of prostrating ourselves to Allah, the All Mighty, you see us bowing down to the Firawns of today. We have busied ourselves with this dunya, distracted by its false splendour. Rather than magic, the Firawns of today fool the masses with democracy, capitalism, socialism and every other system of rule other than by the laws of Allah. Today the Ummah is oppressed but it is to the oppressor that we look to for help. Our lands are occupied and we run to the UN for resolutions. The kuffar have made it clear, you are either with them, or with the Muslims. Who have we chosen?

This Ummah was the greatest and now it has become the weakest. Forget jihad, we don’t even have the Imaan to speak out like the magicians did.

Wasalaam

Just stuff

2006-07-25T14:56:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are well

Right now I’m sat listening to Qur’aan recitations by Muhammad Siddique al Menshawee. Masha’Allah, he’s a top recitor. Good stuff! Puts my troubled heart at rest…

Things have been pretty hectic the past couple of days. I have been babysitting loads of annoying kids, whose immaturity makes you want to scream at times. I have also been caught up in cultural crap passed of as Islaam and gotten the usual stick from family members. Its one of those things that you don’t know whether you should laugh or cry. They think that I am being brainwashed by some wahaabi dude and just don’t get my way of thinking, and I just can’t see where they get some of their dodgy-ness from. *sigh*

I have felt really down for the past couple of weeks. I look around me and hate my surroundings. I daydream of making hijrah and getting the hell outta here. So much kufr and deviancy really gets you down. It’s the little things that I bet most people in Muslim countries don’t think of that I long for. I imagine myself in a village in Syria or somewhere, fully clad in black – niqaab an all, talking in perfect arabi with some sisters. I imagine the adhaan going off, masjids dotted around everywhere, even just walking around and seeing millions (ok not that much) of hijaabi sisters, greeting them with salaam.

My imaan has suffered a massive blow. I started these holidays positively. My imaan was not up there, but I was happy, if you get me. I prayed and the tears fell, I felt close to my creator, I felt fear… but now, I just feel empty. Just thinking about how I was just a couple of weeks ago makes me wanna cry. Where is my khushoo, where is my fear… where is my imaan?? I try so hard to pray with humilty. I try and try… but it’s not enough. That empty filling is not filled. I don’t know, I feel so crap.

Death…

Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are towers built up strong and high. [4:78]

It’s the only certainty in life, but I swear, we are so wrapped up in this dunya, you’d think there was no Day of Judgement. When someone passes away, it is a reminder from Allah (swt) that one day u too are gonna die. One day, you’ll be lying in a hole in the ground, surrounding by nothing but dirt. For the one who has died, that’s it, they cant do anything. But what about us? Why don’t we take heed? This dunya is only a place where we collect as much good deeds as we can and it’s the hereafter that we long for… Jannah. But do we think that yeh we lead a chillers life and then on that day, Allahs gonna rewards for doing crap all?

To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return [2:156]

Please remember, first those Muslims who are suffering at the hands of the kuffar, those in Kashmir, Chechnya, Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon and the whole Muslims Ummah in your duas, and then if its not too much to ask, I humbly ask you to make dua for this sister. Jazaak Allah khaire. May Allah bless you all, keep you steadfast.

Welcome to Kashmir

2006-07-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are in the best of health and Imaan

Could it be, that you can feel tranquillity,

staring at the starry sky

Whilst just across the land,

you can almost hear the oppressed ones cry

Wasalaam

Ar-Ra'd

2006-07-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha'Allah you are in the best of health and imaan.

Subhan’Allah what a day! Most of the day the sun was out and it was blistering hot. And with the heat, came the usual crap, the kuffar come out wearing next to nothing, people gather in the streets, stereos turned up high.

And now…? Now there is thunder and lighting! Every now and then, I see a flash of light and then the ground almost shakes from the roaring thunder. It reminds me of Iraq. I still remember the images of the crusaders bombing Baghdad and then showing it on tv as though it’s a movie. Guess it makes good tv, seeing a country destroyed… drinks and popcorn in hand. May Allah have mercy on the Muslimeen and destroy the enemies of Islaam.

Nay, thunder repeateth His praises, and so do the angels, with awe: He flingeth the loud-voiced thunder-bolts, and therewith He striketh whomsoever He will..yet these (are the men) who (dare to) dispute about Allah, with the strength of His power (supreme) [13:13]

Imam Ahmad recorded that Salim bin `Abdullah narrated that his father said that the Messenger of Allah used to say upon hearing the thunder and thunderbolts, O Allah! Do not kill us with Your anger, nor destroy us with Your torment, and save us before that.'' [This Hadith was recorded by At-Tirmidhi, Al-Bukhari in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, An-Nasa'i in `Amal Al-Yawm wal-Laylah, and Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak.]

When `Abdullah bin Az-Zubayr used to hear thunder, he would stop talking and would supplicate, "All praise is to He Whom Ar-Ra`d (thunder) glorifies and praises, and so do the angels because of His awe.'' He would then say, "This is a stern warning to the people of earth.'' Malik collected this Hadith in Al-Muwatta', and Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad.

Imam Ahmad recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,Your Lord, the Exalted and Most High, said, `Had My servants obeyed Me, I would have given them rain by night and the sun by day, and would not have made them hear the sound of the Ra`d (thunder).')

Allah's statement,

He sends the thunderbolts, and therewith He strikes whom He wills,
indicates that He sends thunderbolts as punishment upon whom He wills, and this is why thunderbolts increase as time comes to an end.

[Taken from Tafseer Ibn Katheer]

Wa'Alaikum Salaam

It is He who sends down rain from the sky

2006-06-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

Today I got caught in a down pour, which isn’t unusual cos that’s the great British weather for you! Considering it’s been very hot the past couple of days, it was expected that we would soon see rain. Only today I had no coat and so I was completely soaked. But rather than filling this post full of complaints I decided to do a bit of reflection instead. Subhan’Allah we should be grateful for every drop of water that falls. Only by Allah’s mercy does He send down water for us to drink and for plants to grow. Look to Africa and other places where there is drought and famine, where water is scarce and people are dying. Yet we sinful souls are blessed!

It is He who sends down rain from the sky, from it ye drink, and out of it (grows) the vegetation on which ye feed your cattle. With it He produces for you corn, olives, date-palms, grapes and every kind of fruit: Verily in this is a Sign for those who give thought. He has made subject to you the night and the day; the sun and the moon; and the stars are in subjection by His Command: Verily in this are Signs for men who are wise. [16:10-12]

When Allah mentions the blessings of cattle and other animals that He has granted mankind, He then mentions how He has blessed them by sending rain down from the sky above, which has been fulfilling the needs and bringing joy to people and their cattle. Allah says:

“…from it you drink…”
Meaning, He made it fresh and pure so that they can drink it, not salty and undrinkable.

“…and from it (grows) the vegetation on which you send your cattle to pasture…”
Meaning, from it He raised plants on which your cattle graze. Ibn `Abbas, `Ikrimah, Ad-Dahhak, Qatadah and Ibn Zayd, all said that this refers to grazing animals including camels.

“…With it He causes crops to grow for you, olives, date palms, grapes, and every kind of fruit.”
Meaning, with this one kind of water, He makes the earth sprout plants with different tastes, colours, scents and shapes.

For this reason He says,

“Verily, in this there is indeed an evident proof and a manifest sign for people who give thought.”
Meaning, this is a sign and a proof that there is no god besides Allah, as He says:

Is not He (better than your gods) Who created the heavens and the earth, and sends water down for you from the sky, from which We cause wonderful gardens full of beauty and delight to grow You are not able to cause the growth of their trees. Is there any ilah (god) with Allah Nay, but they are a people who make equals (to Him) [27:60]

“And He has subjected the night and the day for you, and the sun and the moon; and the stars are subjected by His command. Surely, in this are proofs for people who understand. And all He has created of varying colours on the earth for you. Verily, in this is a sign for people who reflect.”

[Taken from Tafsir Ibn Katheer]

Wasalaam

Why?

2006-06-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are well,

Allah, Lord of the Worlds, not a leaf falls without Your knowledge. You know all that was, is and will be. Compared to You my knowledge is nothing; a grain of sand in a desert, a drop of water in a never ending ocean. Then why do I think I know… I know nothing.

And it is You, ya Rabb who guided me. Who took me out of the darkness, who led me from the path of destruction to the path of guidance. Without Your light I would be lost, stuck in my jahil ways. Without Your mercy I have no hope of attaining Jannah and hell without a doubt will be my final abode. Then why am I proud… I have nothing to be proud of!

And it is You, ya Rabb, who allows me to increase in ajr as you give reward to those who do good and it is you who forgives sins and gives hope to lost souls. And it is You who sends down blessing and allows me to live a life of ease, who does not burden me with trials, more than I can bear. Then why do I think myself superior… when everything that I have is from You

And it is You, ya Rabb who is the most powerful. Who is able to do all things. On the appointed day you will cause the earth to be levelled, great mountains to be turned into dust and mankind will be resurrected for judgement. Then why do I think I have strength… I have no strength at all.

And it is You, ya Rabb who created all that is in the heavens and the earth and it did not cause You any tiredness in the slightest. You give life and cause death. It is you who turns the day into night and the night into day. Then why do I think I have achieved... I have achieved nothing.

And the only way I can obtain knowledge is by reading the Qur’aan and superiority is only measured in terms of Taqwa. And pride? Pride is only for the dwellers of hell. And only by lowering myself, bowing my head on the dust can I gain strength…. Strength of Imaan. And only when I enter Jannah will I have achieved.

So my Lord, help me to remember You always. To be humble, to realise I am a nobody. Rid my heart of pride, hypocrisy and arrogance. Make me a better person. Increase my Imaan. Only by your mercy will I enter Jannah so have mercy on my soul. Take easy account on me and grant me gardens beneath which rivers flow.

Finito ...!!

2006-06-01T11:20:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well.

Alhamdulillah! Exams are over = uni is over = a whole summer of pure relaxation… well not quite. I would think that I would be quite happy, but not really. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing over the summer. Parents, elder siblings are wanting me to get a job and I wouldn’t mind one, but there is no-where ‘halaal’ to work if you get me. For a student with no experience the options are a shop or a call centre. Both are not my type of jobs cos of the sorta stuff they would involve. Shops = selling haraam stuff, be it alcohol, haraam food or skimpy clothing. And call centres are places for dossers (no offence to anyone working in one).

Anyhow, after my exam, I decided to go shopping with my two niqaabi friends, which was boring, cos I hate shopping. We were just walking when this idiot looks at my mate and shouts OH MY GOD! What the heck… spaz and a half! Just cos someone wears a veil doesn’t make them some sort of alien being. I swear I hate this place.

Hehe… I make it sound as tho it really annoyed me, it didn’t. At the time I just laughed thinking what a prat. But I don’t think my friend was too pleased. Thinking back to it has annoyed me though. I’ve been thinking about niqaab for a long time and this is yet another thing on the ‘obstacles’ list. Being a non niqaabi I find it amusing when my mates get stick from the kuffar… not in haha you got dissed amusing, but the haha they are so scared of you amusing. Cos that’s what it is all about, they feel insecure around niqaabis and feeling insecure leads to fear which is why they make dumb comments. Anyhow this (plus other incidents when around with niqaabi friends) has made me stop and think. Would I have the same reaction if I was the one who was at the brunt of the stupid comments, constant stares? Would i find it amusing then? I really don’t know.

May Allah allow me to make hijrah from this place, may he increase my imaan and keep me away from all kufr and deviancy.

Remember me in you duas. Jazaak Allah Khaire

Wasalaam

Paradise

2006-05-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha'Allah you are all well,

I was thinking about Jannah today. How beautiful it will be…

I thought about being surround by Muslims, being greeting with salaam.

I thought about the beautiful gardens, trees with golden trunks, bearing fruits no man has ever tasted.

I thought of the rivers of milk, honey and wine and the fountain of Al Kawther.

I thought about doing anything I please. Sitting in lush green meadows. Relaxing upon soft silk cushions, eating, drinking, playing, laughing, joking, flying through the gardens of paradise, riding a unicorn… playing a guitar (?) >_< (I’m sure it will be allowed in Jannah – its one of my desires now but I doubt it will be then)… what ever I like, when ever I like.

I thought about the companions, seeing Umar (ra), who was harsh against the enemies of Islaam, yet so loving to the Muslims. Abu Bakr, who gave away all his wealth when the Muslims were in need. And when asked, what have you left for your family? He replied, ‘Allah and His Messenger’

I thought about sitting with Aisha (ra), chatting to her. I would ask her to tell me what it was like to race the Prophet.

I thought about Khadijah, the first woman to embrace Islaam. I imagine myself watching her from a distance, admiring her with such respect.

I thought about the previous prophets, Adam (as), the father of mankind. Sulaiman, Musa, Isa… all of the prophets and messengers mentioned in the Qur’aan and all the ones that are not.

I thought about Muhammad (saw), the mercy to mankind. The best of creation! On a day when others will shout nafsi, nafsi, nafsi! He will shout, ummati, ummati ummati! I imagine myself following him around everywhere 24/7 – wait there will be no time! I imagine me asking him a million and one questions! What was it like in the cave, when you got your first revelation? What was it like in Ta’if when the children stoned you? What did it feel like when you conquered Makkah and destroyed the Idols? What was it like to participate in Jihaad, one to one with the enemy? So many questions!!

I imagine the green birds, flying around the Throne, the martyrs! How they will be asked what they would like and they will reply that they wish to return to earth to fight once again and die once again – all for the sake of the Allah, Lord of the Worlds.

And then I thought of the Throne itself and Allah the Magnificent, the Great. I thought about seeing my Creator, My Rabb. The one whose mercy is endless. I imagine falling down, prostrating with humility. I imagine shedding tears, but in Jannah there are no tears (at least I don’t think so), so I smile and my smile turns into laughter.

And then my thoughts are shattered with a sudden realisation… I desire paradise, but what have I done to deserve it?

Ya Rabb, only by your mercy can we enter Paradise. You are the Master of the Day of Judgement, so show mercy to us sinful souls on that day. Cover up our sins; take easy account on us and save us from the torments of the fire. Only You, Ya Rabb can admit us into gardens beneath which rivers flow, with You lies all success and without your guidance we are truly lost. So guide us to the truth and help us to stay on the straight path, the path leading to Jannah. Ameen!

Boredom

2006-05-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are well,

I want to write. I don’t know what about tho, we’ll see.

My next door neighbours are, once again blasting out their trashy songs, which is annoying. Actually it’s doubly annoying cos this time all I can hear is a drum sound or something going dum dum… dum over and over and over and over again. I want to turn up my nasheeds.

Cool jihadi nasheed VS repetative drum sound

Let the Battle Begin!

Its what I usually do and it works, the trash usually gets turned off (I very much doubt it has anything to do with me though lol) But I cant this time, my sisters in the other room reading, and she’s already told me to turn down the volume once before.

Anyway, what else? You know the usual stress of exams. I had one today, and another one tomorrow. The only revision I did was just flick through my notes a couple of hours ago. Since then nothing. In fact when I have revision or any other type of work to do I find myself finding other things to do, even if it’s more boring than revision… I don’t know why. I am weird!

In other news, I started taking driving lessons, which I HATE! Who would have thought driving can be sOoOo boring. And I don’t like my instructor much either! She keeps telling me to check my mirrors… why? I just glance at the side mirror, without processing what I see and return my gaze back to the road ahead of me. What’s the point?

Anyway must go, maghrib time approaches…

Good bye and Allah bless!

Wasalaam

P.S: *silence* - hehe the annoying music has been turned off. Alhamdulillah!

Sacrifice

2006-05-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

I had my first exam today, a three hour Arabic paper. It was harder than expected but alhamdulillah its over and done with – just another four more to go.

It’s hard to imagine the life of the hereafter, I think we as an Ummah have become too engrossed in this dunya and are distracted by material things. We don’t think of the bigger picture, cos we’re greedy and we want things now. We want to enjoy this life, rather than working for the bounties of Allah (swt) in the hereafter. We have forgotten that paradise (and hell) is eternal, whereas this dunya is merely a journey. Rather than travelling through life, we have settled down, deceived by the (false) beauties around us. We have forgotten this is a strange land and we are strangers, working towards returning home. However most of all, we have forgotten our creator. The one who we shall return to, the one who shall question us, about our every actions; what will we say then? How will we answer for sins we have committed? We sin everyday, even though we know that Allah the All Mighty sees us. We have no fear, no shame… nothing. We have pushed the reality of the hereafter far away, deep in our minds. But what will be our fate when the reality comes? For indeed, heaven is true, and hell is true and the promise of our Lord is true – one day we shall all die, and one day we shall all be resurrected. Will our faces be shining brightly? Will we make it over the sirat with ease? Will we be residing in beautiful gardens beneath which rivers flow? Or will we be amongst those whose faces are dark and glum, one of those who is dragged into the pits of hell, whose drink is boiling water that will never quench our thirst and whose food is devil shaped fruits that will never nourish or end our hunger?

Think about it!

Sacrificing something for your deen is hard, but Allah (swt) has promised us that whatever we give up in this dunya, He (swt) will replace it with something a gazillion times better. If we remember this, then maybe it won’t be so hard and the shaytaan will be weakened in his attempts to make us submit to our desires.

So sacrifice this dunya for the hereafter, a temporary life for a life of eternal bliss.

May Allah guide us all to the truth and make us one of the dwellers of Jannatul Firdaus.

Wasalaam.

Identity, Sisterhood and Loving for the Sake of Allah

2006-05-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

Assalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

So the other day I just happened to look outside the window, when I saw a sister, fully clad in black. Head to toe completely covered, a niqaabi good and proper. Subhan’Allah, when I saw her, a smile spread across my face and I felt warm inside. I made dua that Allah grants her Firdaus, cos just by seeing her I felt happy!

Niqaabis are too cool. I wish I was one too!
Sisterhood is also cool, how I love Islaam.

May Allah (swt) increase my Imaan, so that one day I too have the courage to wear niqaab. May He (swt) guide us all and unite us under the banner of Islaam. May He (swt) strengthen us and give us victory over the disbelievers

Wasalaam

Need [mental] help...

2006-05-08T12:07:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha'Alllah you are all well

I’m stressed and I’m tired and I’m bored and my teeth hurt from eating 2 packs of softmints and I’m hungry and my eyes feel weird from sitting at the computer for too long and the mess all over the desk is annoying me and I can’t bare to read another thing about globalisation, but I have still got 1000 words to write about the bloody subject and I cant be bothered… but I have too.

Wasalaam

PS, please remember me in your duas - essay deadlines and exams coming up!

For the sake of Allah...

2006-04-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well.

For the sake of Allah, or not at all?

Sometimes, I’m a bit reluctant to say that, of course everything we do should be for the sake of Allah (swt) the creator of all that is in the heavens and in the earth. But should we abandon doing something, if we know that we are not doing it for the sake of Allah (swt)?

Example, observing hijaab for the sake of fashion is bad but its better than not observing hijaab at all. Saying that, there is no point in covering, if you’re intentions are not pure, you’re not getting any reward for it, and in fact you’re probably guilty of being a hypocrite.

Then again, how many of our actions are purely for the sake of Allah? How many of us strive to please our Lord, in everything we do? Islaam is a deen and deen is a complete way of life. So everything we do should be for the sake of Allah. When we eat, it shouldn’t be because we enjoy food and find pleasure in eating it, but because our body has to be maintained in order for us to fulfil our Islamic duties, because our body has a right over us and because it was given to us by Allah (swt) and we should look after it.

I suppose if we did eat for the sake of Allah (swt) we would be healthier, cos we would think before we eat junk food, in fact we would receive reward twofold because 1) we are eating for the sake of Allah, which in itself would get us reward, but 2) when eating for the sake of Alllah we would have to eat nutritious food and that means giving something up for the sake of Allah (i.e. all the junk food). I can just see. the level of diabetes and heart disease in the Asian population fall :D. As well as that, we would be happier (increased imaan and good health = happiness (?)). We would be able to pray better, work more efficiently… the list goes on.

Not bad eh? Or do I just have a big imagination? Hmm…

Wasalaam.

Al-Lughah Al-Arabiyah

2006-04-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu ’Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

Considering the majority of Muslims are non Arabs, it makes me wonder how many of us know the language of al-Qur’aan – Arabic. How many of are learning, or taking active steps to learn? How many of us even want to, or think that is important to learn this language?

Arabic is such a beautiful language. How can it not be, when the words of Allah (swt), Lord of the Worlds were revealed to the Prophet (saw) in Arabic? How can it not then be a superior to all other languages?

Imagine, if reading the translation of the Qur’aan can move us to tears, if by simply listening to the recitation of the Qur’aan can instil fear and love for Allah (swt) in our heart – this when we don’t understand what is being read, what will it be like when we comprehend the words of Allah? When we understand Al Qur’aan in its revealed language? Subhan’Allah, how much are we missing out on?

The Qur’aan, the greatest book on earth is in the Arabic language, why then are we not striving to learn Arabic? Not only are that but some of the greatest scholarly works are in Arabic. Ibn Kathir’s tafsir – yes we have an English translation, but it is an abridged version, al Bukhari and Muslim. Do the translations really do justice? Would we not benefit from studying hadith in Arabic? How many masses of great works are we deprived from because we don’t know Arabic?

Historians say that one of the reasons the Ottoman period faced so much disunity was because they didn’t make Arabic the official language of the Islamic state, and one of the reasons the earlier caliphates succeeded in uniting the Ummah was because they valued the Arabic language and along with the deen, Arabic was what tied the Arabs, Persians, Indians etc together.

I advise every Muslim, to learn Arabic, not only is it such a beautiful language to learn, but you will enjoy it so much and most importantly it will benefit you, with regards to your deen.

I pray that Allah (swt) gives me the chance to become fluent in the language of al-Qur’aan. That He (swt) increases me in knowledge and gives me greater understanding of the deen.

Wasalaam

Argh!

2006-04-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well.

Smokers are so flippin’ selfish!!

They come and start smoking right in ur face and you have to breathe in that filthy air. Go kill urself in private u sick ppl!!

Wasalaam

Thoughts...

2006-04-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu’ Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well.

So summer is here, which means clocks have moved an hour forward (yeh I no that was ages ago). Isha time will soon be at 11ish and I will have a legitimate excuse for staying up late. I have been waiting for summer for a long time, but sadly I have not seen much sun. Actually it’s been raining quite a bit. Today it seemed like a nice day, sun shining an all, but when I stepped outside it was freezing.

Sometimes I wonder how this Ummah can unite, when there are so many differences between us. I don’t think it is possible especially when these differences can’t be reconciled! I mean if we differed on a small matter, that would be one thing, but when we differ on key issues such as tawheed, what can we do then? It amazes me how some people have a total lack of understanding of tawheed - the foundation of our deen. Without it, there is no Islaam, simple. Upon tawheed, the rest of ur deen is built. Yet we still have people think that it is ok to call upon others, other than the All Mighty, it is ok to make sujood to graves etc and than call the ppl who reject this, wahabbis, extremist salafis etc.

The other night, I was in really bad pain. I was awake – cos I could feel the pain, but I was also half asleep. It’s kind of weird to explain, all I know is that I was up half the night. I had to force my self out of bed for fajr and each time I got up from sujood I was wincing in pain. I have experienced worse pain than that, but it really hit me. This is nothing compared to the torments of hell, where the mildest punishment will make your brain boil! Subhan’Allah!

Its times like that when my eemaan increases. It’s a bit weird, but it makes me realise how much I have to be thankful for and how much I am in need of Allah (swt)’s mercy. My fear of His punishment increases, my hope for His mercy increases, and my love for Him increases. Times of affliction are really a blessing in disguise.

May Allah (swt) guide us all, may He (swt) keep us all on the straight path. May He (swt) grant us the best of this dunya and the best of the akhirah. May He (swt) protect us all from the torments of hell and grant us the best of abodes – al Firdaws!

Wasalaam

Ya Ummah...

2006-03-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu'Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well,

Ya Ummah
I forgot to tell you
To never forget…

Oh my brothers and sisters in Islaam! Remember the Muslimeen in your adiyaat. Don’t forget their suffering because they suffer for this Ummah! When they hurt we should hurt because, this Ummah is one body!

Don’t forget the Mujahideen who fight fisabilillah, because they fight for this Ummah! They fight to establish the pure laws of Allah (swt), they fight against falsehood and oppression, and they fight for the honour of the Muslimeen world wide.

Don’t forget the brothers and sisters who are being locked up, because they are being locked up for this Ummah. They speak nothing but the truth, but they are rejected by the people of falsehood and even some within this Ummah. No matter what, the truth will prevail so don’t be afraid to stand with the minority for indeed the minority are al ghurabaa (the strangers) and for al ghurabaa is the promise of paradise.

Don’t forget the deen of Allah (swt) because without Islaam we are nobody’s, absolutely nothing. Without Islaam we are lost, without this beautiful deen we are losers. So stick to the Qur’aan and Sunnah, take hold of the rope of Islaam and cling to it as though your life depends on it. For indeed your life (in the hereafter) does depend on it.

Don’t forget my dear brothers and sister! Don’t forget this Ummah, for we are the Ummah of the beloved Rasool Allah (saw) and by Allah (swt)'s will, Islaam will prevail!

Wasalaam

Al Ghurabaa' - The Strangers

2006-03-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well,

This is the translation of the dua in Saad Al Ghamdi's version of the Al Ghurabaa' nasheed. Enjoy..

The stranger is not the one who empties the house and bids farewell now

But the stranger is he who is serious while the people around him play

And is awake while the people around him sleep

And follows the best path* while the people around him plot and plan in their misguidance

And truthful was the poet when he said:

My friend said to me, 'I see you as a stranger

Amongst these people without a close friend.

I said 'No! But the people are strange, I'm only in this world and this is my way.

This is indeed the stranger

Strange to those who mock from amongst mankind

But in the Sight of his Lord, he is at a Noble Station

*also means 'narrow mountain pass'

[Click play and listen to the nasheed, its a different version so it does not have this dua at the beginning]

Wasalaam

Hypocrisy

2006-03-21T15:35:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well,

She spoke, I spoke, we argued as usual, but this time it was different. She apologised and went; I thanked her and sat, to think.

It hurt. Not because she called me a hypocrite, but because I was… am one. I felt like crying, because I suddenly realised something about myself, something so ugly I felt utterly ashamed. Something I guess I had been in denial about… and maybe still am.

I am glad she said what she said. I love honest people and I hate dishonest people. One of the reasons why I hate myself.

Her words didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself.

I selfishly ask you to remember me in ur adiyaat. Jazaakum'Allah Khaire

Wasalaam

Hardest Aspect of Worship

2006-03-20T12:53:00.000-08:00

The Hardest Aspect of the Hardest Act of Worship in Islaam
by Sheikh Dr. Abdullah Azzam ash-Shahîd
Extract from Nida'ul-Islâm vol.5 issue 22
Translated by Abu Zayd

From my looking at this Dîn and my long experience with its signs and acts of worship, I find that the most difficult act of worship upon the soul is Jihaad. Therefore (due to its difficulty) it is the topmost part of Islaam, and the bountiful rewards which Allâh has prepared for the Mujahideen are no passing coincidence.

In the Sahîhayn (al-Bukhari and Muslim) on the authority of Abu Dharr: I (Abu Dharr) said, 'O Messenger of Allaah, which is the best of deeds?' He said, "Imaan in Allaah and Jihaad for His Cause."

And in the Sahîhayn on the authority of Abu Hurayrah:

It was said: 'O Messenger of Allaah, what deed is equal to Jihaad for the sake of Allaah (in reward)? He said, "You are not able to do it." So he repeated it (i.e. the question) two or three times ... every time, he - sallallâhu 'alayhi wa sallam - said: "You are not able to do it." The he - sallallâhu 'alayhi wa sallam - said, "The likeness of a Mujaahid in Allaah’s Cause is like the one fasting, praying, being attentive of Allaah’s verses not breaking from his prayer nor his fast until the Mujaahid in Allaah’s Cause returns."

And in the authentic hadîth with Ahmad and at-Tirmidhi: "Standing a period of time in the row of fighting is better than standing (praying) for sixty years."

Therefore there is ijmaa, likewise, that there is nothing equal to the reward of Jihaad, and that ribât is better than being by the Ka'bah. In the Sahîhayn, on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, the Prophet said: "That I make ribât for one night in Allaah’s Cause is better than that I stand (for prayer) in Laylatul-Qadr by the Black Stone." (This report is also narrated as a statement of Abu Hurayrah)

And (similarly) in the Qur’aan:

"Do you consider the providing of drinking water to the pilgrims and the maintenance of al-Masjid al-Haraam (at Makkah) as equal to the worth of those who believe in Allâh and the Last Day, and strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allâh? They are not equal before Allâh. And Allâh guides not those people who are the Zalimun (polytheists and wrongdoers). Those who believed and emigrated and strove hard and fought in Allaah’s Cause with their wealth and their lives are far higher in degree with Allâh. They are the successful." (Surah at-Tawbah (9):19-20)

It is stated in Sahih Muslim that the reason for revelation of this ayah was the ikhtilâf (differing) between the Sahabah regarding what was the greatest act of worship in terms of reward. Was it to give water to the pilgrims or maintaining the Masjid al-Haraam or Jihaad in Allaah’s Cause?

I found that the hardest thing in Jihâd was its waiting; making ribât for the battle is harder than the actual battle itself. Since the more the period becomes longer in making ribât, the more boredom begins to creep into the sedentary souls. The zeal begins to waste away day by day, if the soul does not find what preserves its ardour, burning flames and the fuel from the acts of worship, as well as what sparks the blaze for zeal and its setting alight the fire of its courage for the battle.

Those who live amongst the Mujahideen know this fact clearly, especially those who come to the Jihaad from afar, leaving the decor of worldly life and its treasures and the glitter and gloss of wishful dreams. Then the Shaytaan comes to tempt them to return to their worldly lives which they left. But he (Shaytaan) does not enter except through the door of "benefit" and "the weighing of benefits" and "balancing of the pros and cons".

He does not immediately come to them through the door of abandoning the Jihaad, rather through the door that the place you left will cause their children to be neglected, and the Masjid that they left will fall short in its maintenance and the family which their souls tore away from, will (itself) be torn apart.

May Allah (swt) grant him (sh.Azzam) shaheed. Ameen

Wasalaam

Fair Trade Fortnight

2006-03-13T12:38:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well,

I’m a bit late in blogging about it, but last week was the beginning of fair trade fortnight. Two whole weeks of supporting the fair trade movement and from there making a habit of buying fair trade stuff (Insha’Allah).

I’ve been thinking about all this fair trade business for sometime now and i pray that Allah gives me the strength to support it. Sounds like a silly dua, but I tell you it’s not easy. Just think, if I got all fair tradey (?) I would have to stop eating all other chocolates (well I don’t eat chocolate neway – before u call me mad I am boycotting Israeli goods, and they happen to basically own the chocolate industry not to mention coffee as well) I would have buy stuff at 10x the price of a non fair trade items. I would have to search dozens of shops if I wanted a bottle of juice or something. And its not just food, what about clothes? How many shops sell fair trade clothes?

Why bother? Well read up on the subject. I swear all Muslims should get swotted up on capitalist companies and multi national corporations! MacDonald’s, goes to the Amazon or somewhere, destroys the rainforest to breed cows. Nike have factories in India and other Asian countries, where little kids slave away for 3p a day while they sell their products for £’s! Islaam is about fairness, equality and justice, so why do Muslims support these companies? Maybe we can’t commit ourselves to fully support fair trade, but shouldn’t we at least try?

I want to share with you something I read the other day… it’s sort of related.

Amount of money owed by the worlds poorest nations: $422 billion

Amount of money spent by Western nations on military every year:

$422 billion

Amount of money all African countries need for weekly foreign debt (interest only): $200 million

Amount of money the UN estimates is needed to curb Aids epidemic in Africa: $15 billion

Amount of money African nations pay to service their debts each year (interest only): $13.5 billion

Percent of debt the World Bank and IMF can afford to cancel: 100%

Percent of debt the World Bank and IMF agreed to cancel: 33%

Statistics – one dude once said there are lies, damn lies and statistics. I am slightly weary of the above but Subhan’Allah just look at the figures!!??!!

There are ppl in Africa that are dying every 3/4 seconds because of aids, poverty and starvation. These deaths can be prevented if western, developed countries would make trade more fairer, if they cancelled the debt (NB All indebted countries paid off their debt yonks ago, however due to interest they are having to pay back triple the amount of money they borrowed in the first place – Now do you now why Allah (swt) has forbidden riba?)

I pray that Allah (swt) returns this Ummah back to tawheed so we can strengthen and establish an Islaamic state. Only by Allah’s laws can the world work in harmony. Man made laws will destroy us both in this life and the next!

Wasalaam

P.S:

There's no place like home

2006-03-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well.

I think back two years, when I made my trip back home, Al Bakistan, well Kashmir to be precise. I remember the beauty of the place, the amazing mountains, the blue skies and starry nights, the scorching heat in the morning and tranquil cool in the evening. I remember the beautiful adhaan blasting out through the streets and lastly how can I forget the ants, the billions of tiny (and massive) ants that were everywhere. It was a love hate relationship between me and them. There was times when I would sit for ages watching the way the tiny things would work, carrying things twice their size while at other times I admit they annoyed me so much I would squash them. May Allah (swt) forgive, I feel immense guilt now when I look back. The ants are very special creatures; I mean there is a Surah named after them!

Did you know, an ant can carry 20 times its own wieght. Subhan'Allah

At length, when they came to a (lowly) valley of ants, one of the ants said: "O ye ants, get into your habitations, lest Solomon and his hosts crush you (under foot) without knowing it."

So he smiled, amused at her speech; and he said: "O my Lord! so order me that I may be grateful for Thy favours, which thou hast bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may work the righteousness that will please Thee: And admit me, by Thy Grace, to the ranks of Thy righteous Servants." [27:18-19]

Recently I have really wanting to go back. I don’t know why, I mean I hated it there, and I know if I go again I wont like it but there is just this feeling. I miss it – allot! I just want to spend a couple of days there, maybe a week or two. I want to sit outside in the veranda at asr time waiting for the electricity to come back on. I want to pray my maghrib on the roof tops, surrounded by corn fields and mountains. I want sit in the darkness, just looking up at the beautiful starry sky. I just want to be away from here!

Kashmir I love that place man… almost as much as I hate it (or should I say the people) :D

Wasalaam

Surah Al Kahf

2006-03-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

Introduction
Surah Al Kahf was revealed to Mohammad (saw) after the Jews, told the mushriks to ask the Prophets three things:

1) Who were the Sleepers of the cave and what was their story?
2) Who was Zul Qarnain?
3) What he (Muhammad) knows about the Ruh?

The prophet (saw) told them that he would tell them in the morning, hoping that he would get revelation from Gibraeel, however he did not. After fifteen days the mushriks returned, thinking they triumphed over the Prophet, but Gibraeel on that day revealed to the Prophet (saw) Surah Al Kahf, which contained the answers of their (the mushriks) question.

The Surah can be divided into about seven sections and contains four main stories. They are as follows:

The Sleepers of the Cave

This is about a number of youths who because of their belief in Allah (swt) were driven out of their homes, and ended up in a cave. Here Allah (swt) made them sleep for a number of years. After an unknown time passed they awoke, when asked how long they had slept for they estimated a day or half a day. However Allah (swt) had made them sleep for hundreds of years. One of the youths went to the town to gets some food. He disguised himself thinking that the people would recognise him and harm him. But when he got there he found himself amongst a different people. The people of the town were amazed at his strange clothes and old coins. They went to the cave and saw the youth. After leaving it is reported that the youth went back to sleep and Allah (swt) caused them to die. Allah (swt) knows best.

This is supposedly the cave of the sleepers. Allahu Alaam

The Christian version of this story is known as ‘The Seven Sleepers of Epheus’, however the Qur’aan mentions not the number of those who were in the cave, rather Allah (swt) says:

(Some) say they were three, the dog being the fourth among them; (others) say they were five, the dog being the sixth,- doubtfully guessing at the unknown; (yet others) say they were seven, the dog being the eighth. Say thou: "My Lord knoweth best their number; It is but few that know their (real case)." Enter not, therefore, into controversies concerning them, except on a matter that is clear, nor consult any of them about (the affair of) the Sleepers. [18:22]

If the number of those in the cave had any importance or significance, surely Allah would have told us, we are told not to waste our time discussing such matters. The importance of the story is not how many men were in the cave, but the message that it carries.

The name of the dog is not mentioned the in the Qur’aan, however it is traditionally known as Qitmr. This is not a matter adds to the lessons contained in the story.

The location of the cave is also not mentioned, except that Allah (swt) says:

Thou wouldst have seen the sun, when it rose, declining to the right from their Cave, and when it set, turning away from them to the left, while they lay in the open space in the midst of the Cave… [18:17]

Some scholars have said that the location of the cave is ‘Arajeeb’ in Jordan, according to the description given in the above verse. But again, the location of the cave is not mentioned in the Qur’aan and therefore bears no significance.

To Be Continued...

Working hard

2006-03-03T17:12:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well.

Its one o’clock. I have spend the last ? hours, doing some uni work. I’m almost finished only I can’t be bothered writing anymore so I think I will leave it to tomorrow. I might post it once I have finished as it is really quite interesting.

What is it I hear you ask? Basically for uni, I have to give a presentation about Surah Al Kahf. So the in the past couple of days I have been doing masses of reading and traipsing through the world wide web, trying to find some interesting stuff.

You no I have read Surah Kahf before and yeh it’s a good Surah. However this presentation has really made me realise that the Qur’aan has so many hidden bounties. It’s only until I sat down and analysed this Surah that I understood some of its meaning. It’s only until I read tafsir that it made proper sense!

It’s easy to read the Qur'aan, but very, very difficult to understand and act upon what you have read.

Wasalaam

Blows Dust

2006-03-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

Geez hasnt this place been gathering dust? It’s been such a long while since I blogged. I have not been bogged down with work or exams or anything, just I couldn’t be bothered with it anymore. Can’t really be bothered right now, but I’m a tad bit bored, so I thought I would write something.

Life is… life. Maybe changes have occurred, but u never really realise, until years later when you look back and think, flippin’ heck, I was such a weirdo.. gawwwd!

Right now my eyes hurt, I should go to sleep but I don’t want to. Even though at times I may be tired, I won’t sleep cos it’s still only 11 and I usually sleep after 12, or something stupid like that. I have a nine o’clock start tomorrow and I struggle to get up for Fajr, so if I had any sense I would go to bed. But I’m stupid aren’t I!

I was thinking what is the purpose of this blog? The only thing I could think of was that it’s something to do when I am bored. Well initially it was a tool to help me express myself, in whatever way I felt best and to improve my lacking English skills (the more you write the better u get at it right?) laakin [but] now, its just random and I don’t like that. Therefore i'm gonna change the focus of this blog (well at least try) I don’t really no what kinda of changes; I was thinking blogging about the stuff I am learning at uni. I find it interesting, maybe someone else will too! It will help as a revision tool too.

Well we’ll see.

Cheerio folks
Wasalaam

His mercy...

2006-01-20T14:51:00.000-08:00

huAsalaamu Alaikum,

Insha'Allah you are all well.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: My mercy prevails over my wrath. [Muslim, al-Bukhari, an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah]

Wa'Alaikum Salaam

1st Dhul Hijjah

2005-12-31T15:21:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu'Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all wellm,

I’m at home, being a loner. Siblings have bogged off to go ‘celebrate’ new year or sommat at my sisters house and mum and dad are downstairs, prolly watching some paki trash on the dabbah (telly).

I’m tired! I’ve had a headache all day and all last night – didn’t get to sleep till about half one-ish. I’ve been sitting all day, doing absolutely nothing, listening to one single nasheed over and over for hours (its brill!). Been sat the computer for the last ? hours, writing essays, chatting and another sentence or two added to the essays. Read a book, or should I say article and now I have nothing more to do so I thought I’d blog.

Everywhere I go people are going on about the New Year. What’cha mean New Year, Muharam is not till end of January! :P Nah seriously what’s so good about the new year. When I was younger I’d stay awake to see the New Year, expecting something special when the clock strikes 12. I’d look out of the window, expecting the sky to change colour or something. How disappointed was I when nothing happened - Not even fireworks!

However this year I must say I am a tad bit excited. Not cos of the New Year (stuff that). Nope, cos tomorrow is the 1st of Dhul Hijjah – woOt!

So instead of staying up late and getting excited about seeing a couple of fireworks go to bed folks. Why? To wake up early in the morning and fast! The first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah are full of reward and blessing, so make the most of ur time insha’Allah!

Ahmad and Tabarani record from Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah’s peace and blessing be upon him) said: "There is no day more honorable in Allah's sight and no acts more beloved therein to Allah than those in these 10 days." So say Tahlil (There is no deity worthy of worship but Allah La ilaha illallah), Takbir (Allahu Akbar: Allah is the Greatest) and Tahmid (Al Hamdulillah: All praise is due to Allah) a lot (on those days)." [Imam Ahmad]

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Prophet (Allah’s peace and blessing be upon him) said: "There are no days more loved to Allah for you to worship Him therein than the 10 days of Dhul Hijjah. Fasting any day during the 10 days it is equivalent to fasting one year and to perform Tahajjud (late-night prayers) during one of its nights is like performing the late night prayer on the Night of Power (Lailatul Qadr)." [Imams Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Baihaqi]

And on that note, I'm off too bed!

Wasalaam

Hajj

2005-12-29T06:37:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well.

And so, a couple of days till the New Year. I’m not looking forward to it at all, due essay deadlines and exams. But I can’t wait for Eid. I can’t believe it sooo near – it seems like yesterday that I was being bored, missing mum for little Eid (lol - Eid ul-Fitr I mean).

Hajj season has also began, ppl are making their way to Makkah. I was watching the Friday Khutba last week and boy was it packed! Subhan’Allah it’s amazing! I wish I was there!

May Allah make it easy for the hujaaj and accept their pilgrimage!

I wonder what it’s like living in Makkah or Medina. I personally prefer Medina to Makkah – Subhan’Allah words can’t describe the serenity you feel there. I Alhamdulillah have had a chance to travel to the two great cities. I can tell u, the day we arrived in Medina is still crystal clear in my mind! I’ll blog about it one day (if I haven’t already – can’t remember). While we were in Makkah, my dad made friends with the hotel owner – he lives in Makkah (obviously) and had performed hajj a whopping FIVE times (May Allah accept them). These days I am always thinking how I could go and live there. Mum says its mega hard to get residence there – people would be flocking there otherwise. Hmmm, I guess am just gonna have to marry a Saudi!

Wasalaam

I don't no

2005-12-21T11:58:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well.

Nothing much has happened in life. Same old, same old. Work load is baaad though. I have 3 essays in for 9th January (Eid?) and on top of that, I’ve got exams to revise for. I think I’m getting there though, did one essay yesterday so Insha’Allah I should be fine. Only thing is that the books from the library have all gone *sigh*.

It’s my least favourite time of the year – xmas! How I hate it. The streets are lit up with trashy xmas lights and every where u go, u hear cheesy xmas songs, so ur left humming ‘Last Christmas’ for the rest of the day. (It’s always the most annoying songs that get stuck in ur head).

I need to remember never to go anywhere with my sister. I went to the library with her, as we both needed books. I thought it wouldn’t take long – an hour max. Only she took a massive detour and went round town and before I no it, its 4 o’clock, I had missed Maghrib and we still hadn’t made it to the library yet! One thing that cheered me up though was that as we were walking out of the shopping centre, I saw a brother praying, right there in the middle of the packed shopping centre – Masha’Allah. I guess it’s not that big of a deal but these days u don’t find many ppl who wud pray anywhere, not caring what other ppl think! I on the other hand made my way to the uni prayer room lol.

Got tons of books, mostly to do my coursework, but also some other books that I can’t wait to get stuck into. I discovered a proper cool area of the uni library. Right down in the basement they have the all the Islamic books. Man it’s the best! There’s Sahih Bukhari, Ibn Kathir, books by ibn Taymiyyah, Al Ghazali – I could go on forever. I have 3 yrs to have a read thru em all.

I’m currently reading one of Al Ghazali’s books. Now I don’t know what to think of this guy! I mean apparently he was a Sufi and so has loads of Sufi elements in his books and one thing I noticed is that he uses a lot of da’if hadith in this book i'm reading now. But on the other hand he has such an amazing writing style. He really makes you think.

Lastly, I went round to my sisters yesterday. I had forgotten how good of a hostess she is. I haven’t been round for time, but every time I have been, she’s sure to make delicious food or just provide us with chocolates and sweets. Her place is like the out hang out area. Mum and dad hardly ever go around, just us kiddo’s get together once in a while and chillax for a bit. She called us round yesterday, so we spent the afternoon, playing on the PS2, eating junk food and fruit (makes u feel less guilty I suppose lol). I think she wanted us to finish off her food, cos she’s always buying tons of food and then not eating it. And she kept on saying – oh good, this has finished, eat this, eat that etc etc. Not to worry, I wasn’t gonna let her down, I stuffed myself. :D

Nehoo, need to get started on another essay so best be off.

Take care and Wasalaam

Tom Tom's

2005-11-28T17:42:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

Tom tom's, u no them sat nav thingy-me-bobs? They pretty nifty little devices aren’t they? A complete waste of money mind you. I mean yeh if ur occupation involves alotta driving here and there then fork out for one, but I think its pretty stuuupid for ur average joe to spend that much money, I mean what, u need directions for the school run? My sisters got one. I swear she doesn’t even need the thing, and when she does use it, she takes ages putting in the destination, its so bloody annoying, I hate slow ppl :D

Nehow don’t you think it getting cold? I wear 4 layers minimum but still when I go out I freeze and to make it worse I see some people walking around as tho it’s the middle of summer O_o

Wasalaam

I'm meanta be working...

2005-11-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Insha'Allah you are all well,

As ever I’m gonna complain cos it’s what I do best. I’m supposed to be writing an essay but I’m just cant seem to express myself properly – the funny thing is, it’s actually something I am interested in – the prophet and his migration to medina. I mean I spent ages writing about the cold war, realism and other crap, I got that done, why cant I get this done?

Uni and work is getting to me. It’s pretty tough and I can’t seem to manage my time well (saying that I can waste time blogging). Even though my timetable is pretty empty, I’m finding it all quite hard. Learning Arabic is tough! I have 6 hours of lessons in 2 days and I spend all my 3 days in uni (I am only in uni for 3 days) working on it. I’m trying, I just lack the confidence to speak it, find it hard memorising words and even though I understand all the grammar, when I am left on my own its quite hard to grasp.

As well as that the 3 days I am in uni are quite packed. All my lectures seem to be in the afternoon, or at least 12.00 onwards. Before it was alright, but now I am just constantly making a mad dash from lecture to prayer room. Most salaat times clash with lectures so I have to read in random rooms, and when no rooms are available I have to pray in some obscure corridor. I mean I find it hard to develop khushoo anyway, let alone when I’m praying in a corridor! Today I had a seminar at 4, and maghrib is at 4.05ish. So I prayed first. Man! Even though I was praying in jamaat I still found it hard to concentrate, cos at the back of my mind I was too bothered about being late to the seminar. I got out of the prayer room at 4.15 and it takes 10 minutes to make my way up to lesson! (boy was I out of breath!) So far I have been able to pray on time and stuff but it bothers me that uni is hindering me from my religious obligations. I hate rushing around – it stresses me out! When I starting uni I promised myself that I would put religion first, before studies, and even though I am I just feel like I’m failing!

Anyway, enuf for today

Take care and Wasalaam

Sunday

2005-11-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

So here I am, Sunday evening, sulking in my room! (lol) I am super annoyed at everyone. There was an event in Stoke today and I really wanted to go, but as you may have guess I didn’t! I wasn’t really in the mood before; I only decided yesterday I wanted to go. So I asked dad (actually got my sister to ask) and after 101 questions about where it’s gonna be held and what time it is, he started lecturing her about living in ‘dangerous times’. (Sheesh you’d think we’re in a war zone) Then he said we could go but not on the train (since we might get lost >_< ) so get my brother to take us. Yeh right, like he is gonna drive us down to Stoke! So I have been in a strop all day. I wanted to see the sisters who have organised it all, and the talks sound really interesting. And it’s not as though I was going for a doss, it’s an ISLAMIC event! Ah well, wasn’t meant to be! Another time Insha’Allah.

I’m thinking of scrapping this blog. I’ve kept it up for a long while, considering I get bored easily. I actually quite enjoying venting in the realms of cyber space, it saves others from an headache but I dunno, I think maybe its time for us (me and the blogging world) to part ways. We’ll see (I make no promises :D)

Anyhow, take care alles

Wasalaam

There's a rat in ma kitchen...

2005-11-11T06:52:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well.

I saw a big massive rat/ mouse… black thing!

I was in the kitchen this morning, when I saw something move from the corner of my eye. I looked and saw a black thing (a mouse/rat?) run behind the fridge! Argh! I was well freaked out. I wouldn’t say I have a phobia of rats n mice (except that I have nightmares about them and the last time I saw one I didn’t go into the kitchen for about a week!) just they are horrible, disgusting creature (oh and I’m totally scared of them!)

I think I might be getting over my ‘phobia’ cos this time I did enter the kitchen later on… but as soon I remembered about the rat/mouse, I ran back out again.

Its quite weird, the last time I saw one, I was up for suhur/sehri and I saw a disgusting rat/mouse jump across the kitchen (seriously!) I have never ran up the stairs that fast. I woke my mum up and she had to get the food I had made and bring it up cos I wouldn’t even go down the stairs! (lol) That was about a year or two ago, and this time I see one, the same, I was up for suhur/sehri and i get attacked by another thing! (Ok maybe not attacked) but still, my overly overly active imagination is telling me shaytaans behind it all…. LOL sounds stupid but I’m believing it. I dunno what I’ma do tomorrow morning, I no for sure that I ain't gonna step in the kitchen!

Nehoo, I am meant to be doing my coursework, I have to write an essay on realism >_< I haven’t got a clue what to write about so I am rambling, only I don’t think you can get away with pretending to know what ur on about at this level. *sigh*

Take care all
Wasalaam

Guess who's back in town?

2005-11-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Insha'Allah you are all well.

Ami n Abu ghar ah gai hai...

Mum and dad are back! [woohoo] I have missed them soooooo much, especially my dearest mother. Can't wait to see them. They should be arriving home anytime soon Insha'Allah. Mmmm wonder what they have got for me? (lol)

Nehow I'm off to eat, was fasting today. It's good to be fasting again after Ramadhan ended, I was missing it and my eating patterns were well messed up.

Take care alles,

Wasalaam

Eid

2005-11-03T18:28:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Insha'Allah you are all well.

Eid is here!

Taqabballa Llaahu Minna Waminkum - May Allah accept it from us and you

Hope you all have a good day!

Wasalaam

Easy Target

2005-11-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well

Well there I am, walking down the street minding my own business. I don’t really pay much attention to my surrounding; actually I don’t pay no attention at all. Nehoo, u no when u gets the feeling someone is looking at u? Well yeh i'm walking along until I get that feeling. So I look around and I see this girl who’s just seen me (don’t know who she is), she starts walking in my direction. Ahh sheesh, another sales person? Nope turns out to be some charity person wanting money. And u no I don’t mind giving money to charity, especially in the blessed month of Ramadhan (which is slowing coming to an end :( ) only it happens all the time. They’ll be tons of people walking down the street and it’s always me who is approached. How do they no that I can never get myself to say nah sorry mate got no money, or something. I just can never say no, and the worst thing is I am a pretty suspicious person. Ya no I think mmm are they collecting for a legit charity etc, but I still end up emptying my purse.

I don’t know, maybe they think, ooh look stupid no brains cloth head, she’s bound to give some money (lol) or maybe they think, ah a generous muslimah… I dunno I hope it’s the latter.

Nehow, I’m not even bothered about it (I no I make u think otherwise eh?) its just I’m super stressed at the mo, got tons of work and no time and yet I still laze around a lot. I’m hating uni (cos of the work load) and I miss mum real bad. I’m suffering from lack of sleep and I seriously can’t be bothered with nething at the moment.

Enuf of the ranting tho, Eid is on Thursday, Insha’Allah so Eid Mubarak from me, to all Muslims that come across this blog. Insha’Allah it will be a fun filled day. It’s sad to see Ramadhan end, but Insha’Allah the lessons learnt in Ramadhan will be carried on. BTW don’t forget ur salaat on Eid ppl. It’s a shame to see people total forget about their obligations as soon as Ramadhan ends.
Anyway I think I have gone on enough

Take care and Wasalaam.

Re-education

2005-10-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well

The more you know, the more you realise how little you know

So you’re living life and everything is all good and dandy. You seem to have ur deen up to scratch (or so you think) and life is not all too bad. But subhan’Allah one day you wake up and think whatta’heck?!? What do I actually no about that thing they call Islam?

*silence*

Worry not, ‘tis not too bad, you have the World Wide Web, a mass of information right there before you. Only once you start reading you realise oh my Allah, what an ignorant git was I! Everything that was taught to you was mixed with so much bidah-ness, so much cultural crap it’s unbelievable.

So here I am a couple of years or so later, still putting the wrongs, right. Almost everyday I realise some deviant practice that I grew up thinking was Islam is actually some village folk Hindu weirdness that has got nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. It’s hard changing, especially when your family are so wrapped up in the stuff but Alhamdulillah, I’m getting there. With the guidance of Allah you can do anything. Just need to pray that Allah keeps you on the haq and protects you from the deviancy, kufr and shirk.

May Allah guide us and keep us steadfast on the sirat-tul-mustaqeem.

Wasalaam

The story so far...

2005-10-14T15:19:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu’ Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well.

Been so busy in the past week or so, or have i? I think maybe I have been lazy, no more than usual, but since its Ramadhan I guess I am feeling bad about it.

Uni is getting annoying, the initial excitement has worn off and now I’m just getting bored. I enjoy the lectures (well most) but I just can’t be bothered with it all. I miss my old friends, the uni is so big and I am constantly running from one end to the other. On Thursdays I have lectures from 4-6 so in between I have to make a mad dash to go pray Asr and get to my lecture as fast as possible. I talked to my lecturer (who is a Muslim), she was alright with me going to her lecture late (I explained about having to pray Asr) but she said that she would prefer it if I joined my Duhr and Asr (as far as I no that not allowed unless ur travelling) I told her no I wanna pray on time, she said fine.

Ramadhan is going ok-ish, I’m a bit down cos I don’t read as much as I can and at times I just don’t have the time. I miss my parents, mum especially! Ramadhan just doesn’t feel the same without her (or the lovely food she makes lol) My sister is annoying me, she’s worse than my parents. I no dad put her in charge and her strictness is more to do with the fact that she feels responsible for us rather than her loving the authority, but sometimes I just think give it a rest woman. Saying that she has been absolutely great, may Allah reward her for everything she has done. She’s looked after her younger siblings good and proper. Sometimes I feel bad cos not only does she look after her own kids but she does everything for us as well. I sometimes think how can I repay her for her kindness – I think I’ma just stick to doing loads of duas for her – top lass she is!

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

Wasalaam

Quake

2005-10-08T16:48:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are well.

A massive earthquake has hit Pakistan and Kashmir. Please make dua for the countless Muslims who have died and those who are left homeless.

Alhamdulillah my family over there are safe and well. My sister phoned my uncle who works in Islamabad, he said that the quake hit about a mile away from his office, however people who he works with have had their houses destroyed.

Subhan’Allah the death toll so far is about 1,200 and rising. Kashmir has taken a massive blow because houses there are made of wood and mud bricks so are not very stable (Well not enough to withstand a massive quake).

May Allah protect the Muslims and grant those who have lost their relative and homes sabr. For those who have died, may Allah forgive them their sins and grant them Jannah. To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.

Wasalaam

Ramadhan

2005-10-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu’Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well

Finally it has come…

Ramadhan Mubarak to my Muslim Brothers and Sisters!!

May Allah bless us all and shower us with His endless mercy. Please remember the Ummah in your duas, especially the Mujaahideen who fight for the sake of Allah. Make sincere dua as Allah does not refuse the dua of a fasting person. I hope that each Muslim is able to make the most of this blessed month as we do not no whether we shall live to see it again. May Allah guide us and keep us firm on the path of Islam

All Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds.

Take care and wasalaam

Da'wah

2005-09-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well.

Ramadhan is approaching and I really want to do some Da’wah work. Well actually I have been thinking of doing some form of Da’wah for a long time, only I didn’t know where to begin. So now that Ramadhan is almost here I thought of writing a few simple leaflets explaining what Ramadhan is, why Muslims fast etc, to give out at uni and to my neighbours, only I just can’t seem to get started.

For a few weeks now I have been suffering from a serious creativity block. I used to love to write or play around on fireworks, making posters etc. (I wasn’t any good it but at least I did something!) but now that I want to do something important, my mind seems to be totally blank. I think it’s because I have spent so much time lazing around and not doing anything (I did absolutely no work after I finished A-Levels) that now I am suffering the consequences of idleness.

Its been annoying me for some time now, I was getting worried about whether or not I’d be able to write essays for uni or not, but that doesn’t bother me, well not as much as not being able to write a simple leaflet.

As a Muslim it is my duty to give Da’wah to both Muslims and non-Muslims and I’ve been putting it off for so long so now I am so angry at myself. Before I told myself when I get to uni, I’ll have a proper chance to do some Da’wah work. Well now I am at uni and what am I doing? Nothing!

I pray Allah allows me to do my bit to spread the message of Islam, that I find words to put down on paper that right now seem to be lost deep in my mind. I pray He (SWT) accepts my efforts as whatever I do; I do fisabilillah – for the sake of Allah (alone).

Wasalaam

Back to school

2005-09-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu’ Alaikum,
Insha’Allah ur all well,

Well today I started uni for real. Timetabled lessons began (or so I thought). I got up pretty early so after I got ready I was wondering round the house wishing I had slept in – I was so tired. At 10-ish I made my way to uni, hoping to get there early and find where the lecture was located. It didn’t take me long to find the building where I thought the lecture was to be held. I went into the room and this girl was there who I started talking to. She was telling me how she wants to set up her own charity (like me), went to Egypt and worked in an orphanage (which is something I would love to do) and basically she wants to make a difference to the world (Me as well – but my idealist days are slowing coming to an end) Its was nice talking to her, only I realised she was in her 2nd yr which meant I was in the wrong room. Nehow she directed me to another building which found but also turned out to be wrong. Finally when I got to the right place the lecture was just a crappy 15 minute intro – what I waste of time!

So I made my way to the prayer room, which was dead. I sat there reading until a few sisters came in and so I got talking to them. Man if I think about it, uni has got to be the most Islamic environment I have ever been in; it’s so cool being surrounded by other Muslims. It’s nice to be part of something – sisterhood!!

Well my next lecture was at 3, so I had a few hours to kill which was spent chatting to ppl in the prayer room, until one of the sisters told me that the lecture that was at 3 doesn’t actually begin until October… MAN!! So I was there killing time when I could have come home, sheesh. Well I guess I got to meet some more ppl, so that’s a good thing.

So that was my first day, a 15 minute lecture… nice!

Wasalaam

PS- yup u guessed can’t wait till Ramadhan, about a week to go! :woOt:

Preparing for Ramadhan 2

2005-09-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah you are all well,

Well Ramadhan is approaching, I can’t wait! Mum and dad are jetting of to sunny Arabia; they are going to be spending the month of Ramadhan in the two holy cities – Makkah and Medina. (I wanna go!) so this will be my first ever Ramadhan without mum.

So yeh that means there’s gonna be no one to feed and look after me. I’ma be living off bread and mouldy cheese – yep that’s ur cue to start with the notes of sympathy! I’m gonna miss mum – or should I say her food? She is the best! During Ramadhan she wakes up before the lot of us and starts preparing food, delicious peranta’s – ahhhh they are gorgeous, but a tad bit unhealthy! And for Iftaar, what can I say mum never fails to cook up a feast.

But I am prepared; before I used to think Ramadhan as a time when mum cooked nice food, but my god my thinking was totally wrong. It actually annoys me now, when I think of how much food ppl make for iftaar. What’s wrong with a simple, small meal? Why do we insist on indulging in a massive feast? So I am going to stick to normal meals, nothing special or extravagant (not that I have the cooking abilities to make something extravagant) but still, I am not going to waste time making food when I can be reading the Quran or praying. During Iftaar I’ma stick to a light meal, I always get drowsy after stuffing my face with all the scrumptious food, so the evening is wasted with me lazing about- not this Ramadhan tho, nope, Insha’Allah I plan not to waste even a second!

Uni timetable rocks, I am free most of the time so I can make good use of that time doing something productive. I was thinking of getting a job, but I might just wait after Ramadhan – we’ll see! What ever does happen I just pray that I make most of the month. Its going to be good – about 10 days to go – cant wait!

Waslaam

Uni

2005-09-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah ur all well

I started uni today, well kind of. Today was like an induction day, met my tutors, fellow students, tried to figure my way round my round the MASSIVE campus. Alhamdulillah I figured out where the induction meeting was held quite quickly but after that I got lost a few times.

Its so weird walking onto campus, I've been through the uni before, my college is just opposite so I used to go to the prayer room or get cheap food from the union now and then :D but this was the first time I entered the uni as a ‘student’. It felt different somehow (don’t ask how exactly).

The people on my course are alright, they seem pretty much friendly and decent. I didn’t think there would be much Muslims (one of my mates who is in her 2nd yr of the course said her class was full of yahouds) but it’s all good, there are plenty of hijaabis around- even a niqaabi (sooo cool!) Nehow I got talking to a few girls, they seem alright, I’m yet to make proper friend friends, but once we get started I should be alright. After the induction meeting we just went our own ways, there was introductory meeting to the student union that was held in a bar (sheesh!) went to that and got talking to some girls from my course, tagged around them for a bit (I was a loner u see :D) and then I got bored so I went to find some more muslimahs and so made my way to the prayer room. I had forgotten how much of a long walk it is to the prayer room, I was out of breathe and the place was so packed I thought maybe they have moved the prayer room to some other place, so I asked around but it turned out to be the same place.

Prayed Zuhr, hung around outside the sisters area for a bit cos I didn’t no anyone, then I walked into the room where all of em hang out, gave my salaam (salaam is so useful when meeting new ppl) and got talking to a few sisters. They seem like a lively bunch, some really helpful sisters there. Nehow I got talking to this girl who apparently was doing the same course as me, so I was like ‘oh so did u go to the induction thing, I didn’t see u’ and she kind gave me a weird look and told me she had. Later on as I was talking to her I saw a niqaab next to her. She was the niqaabi in ma class, I even spoke to her in the morning LOL.

So yeh, that’s about it. Oh yeh I got kinda lost looking for the library (was supposed to meet ppl there for a tour) I asked a sister in the prayer room and she spent ages telling how to get there and I was like :$ but it turned I actually knew where it was, I just didn’t no the name of the building it was in, so when she goes u no where so and so building is I was like ermmm no :$ which ended up her giving me big long directions.

Well I think I better shut up, haven’t half gone on, just I’m excited to get started, it sounds really interesting, Insha’Allah I’ll enjoy it!

Wasalaam

PS- counting down the days till Ramadhan, 13 days to go!!!

Preparing for Ramadhan...

2005-09-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint. [2:183]

I love the blessed month of Ramadhan, it’s such a peaceful time of year. For some reason when Ramadhan comes I forget all my worries and stresses, I forget about work load and other petty stuff, I just concentrate on Ibaadah, cos nothing else seems to matter anymore. Which fool would waste their time during Ramadhan when the Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah SWT be upon him) has told us that it is the month when the devils are chained and gates of Paradise are open?

Narrated By Abu Hurairah: Allah's Apostle said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained." [Sahih Bukhari]

Subhan’Allah, its amazing how at rest I am at that time of the year, I love waking up at in the early morning for sehri while the rest of the world sleeps, I feel so close to Allah SWT. My Imaan is way up there, its like I’m on a spiritual high, knowing that I can go without the bare essentials- food and water, makes me feel invincible, yet at the same time it humbles me as its then when I learn to appreciate how much Allah SWT has blessed me with.

I really can’t wait! Insha’Allah we will all have the opportunity to make the most of Ramadhan, to occupy ourselves with the remembrance of Allah SWT and not waste even a second of the beautiful month!

All praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds

Wasalaam

Tranquility

2005-09-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
Insha’Allah u are all well,

I had forgotten how serene it is in the early morning. The silence (minus the birds singing), the calmness, the tranquillity.

Before when I used to wake up for Fajr, I was half dead, never used to take a notice of anything, just make wudhu, pray and go back to bed.

But the last two days I have been waking up quite early, so I have had time to appreciate the beauty of the early morning. No sound of cars, no people, nothing except for the birds quietly singing and the tree gently swaying in the morning breeze. I dunno it just has a ‘feel’ to it that makes me feel happy. It would be a nice time to take a walk, just around my house, but I am too lazy and a tad bit wimpy. Instead I just observe the beauty of Allah SWT from the comforts of my bedroom, glancing out of the window, watching the sun rise.

Wasalaam

Progress Report

2005-09-02T16:26:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
InshaAllah ur all well,

It’s been a while, a very long while. I haven’t had internet connection for some time, which was good cos it meant less time wasting.

Neway it’s been a busy few weeks. I didn’t get the stuff I was planning on doing, done. Summers been bit of a downer but I have good news. I got my results back, well I got them ages and yes u’ve guessed I’m into uni (As expected - I never doubted myself). They were actually quite a shocker, I needed 3 C’s to get into uni, I got a B and 2 C’s, well 3 C’s but general studies doesn’t count. I am chuffed on one had cos I can’t wait to start uni, I’m looking forward to the work (with goes to show how much of a boring summer I have had, its unleashed a very geeky side to me!) But on the other hand, I’m a tad bit disappointed cos I no that if I actually worked for the whole 2 yrs of college I would of done ten times better… I sound like a right git don’t I?

Haven’t done much over summer, just lazed around, which most people wouldn’t mind doing but I really wanted to work, I’m already a skint student and I haven’t even started uni yet.

So that’s about it,

Wasalaam and bye

Back-ache

2005-07-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah ur all well.

Here I am sprawled on the floor of my sister’s room. She bogged of with her desk, taking it to her new house. The computer was left to gather dust for a few days in the corner of my sister’s room, given a bit of rest (poor thing it is on all the time). Got started with the 6th Harry Potter (Yup I guess I am a Potter fan) but I couldn’t get into it, I’ve read one chapter that’s all. Nehoo I got bored so I set up the computer on the floor. It’s a bit dodgy typing, in fact it’s very dodgy, but what can I do? I could take it into my room, but my desk is full and there’s no space. So until something is sorted the floor it is. I’m thinking maybe I could nick back the desk… do you think she’ll notice?

Wasalaam

News

2005-07-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah you are all well,

I have decided that I am not going to watch the news anymore (yeh right!) It just makes me so angry, and I don’t believe a word of it anyway. In fact I am going to try to not watch any TV at all. Even though over the past few months I cut down on sitting in front of the telly I want to try and give it up all together. I mainly watch the news and documentaries, but I'm sick of the lies, the propaganda and biased views! Saying all that , the TV is on right now >_<

All the London stuff is getting on my nerves, I am so surprised that everyone is taking what they see on the news as the gospel truth!

The shooting today… what can I say, if he was Muslim, may Allah SWT grant him Jannah! I have no doubts he was innocent!

Wasalaam

Liberating

2005-07-19T13:43:00.000-07:00

Asalaammu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah ur all well,

The other day I was walking home with my nephew and nieces. They were on their bikes racing ahead, while I walked slowly, enjoying the sun.

We were just passing the park, when my nephew was like can we go and play for a bit. I couldn’t really be bothered but I let them anyway. As I walked into the park I realised I haven’t been there in years. It just like five minutes away from my house yet I haven’t been for such a long time.

I walked to the kids section and sat down watching my nephews and nieces bikes as they played on the swings and slides. As I watched all the kids, I thought how liberating it must be to be a kid. No worries in the world, they are so carefree and innocent.

As my nephew ate his ice cream, I went over to the swings to push my niece. After a while I took a seat in a swing, I sat there for about 2 minutes the most yet in that time, I was taken back to my childhood. As I sat there swinging I wished I was a kid again!

Wasalaam

Stuff...

2005-07-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Asalaammu Alaikum,
Insha’Allah ur all well.

Right now, things are not going well. I have a lot of anger inside me, but I don’t really no where it’s all coming from. Summer so far is going crap, tho I am getting stuff done, things aren’t moving fast enough. The anger is making me angrier cos I tend to pity myself, which makes me hate myself cos I am being ungrateful. Take a look at Iraq, Palestine, and Kashmir, why can’t I see that I should thank Allah for everything that I have?!

The bombings in London have made me reflect a lot, its revealed what seems like a ugly side of my personality. If I think about it that’s where the anger stemmed. I take a look at myself and come across as such a heartless git! Even tho I no what happened in London was wrong, there is no feeling of sympathy and sadness – infact it angers me that Muslims are making this into so much of a big deal, when every day places like Iraq and Afghanistan are getting bombed by the US dogs! *sigh*

I just wanna get back on track, but my Imaan is rock bottom. I pray and pray Allah keeps me steadfast on the straight path. After London it's going to be very testing for the Muslims, may Allah strengthen us all. Ameen!

Wasalaam

Snails Pace

2005-07-08T21:44:00.000-07:00

Asalaammu Alaikum
InshaAllah ur all well,

During exams I couldn’t wait for them to be over, I had so many plans for summer.

The Plan:
Get a job, learn Arabic, memorize the Quran, learn Tajweed, do some volunteer work, create an Islamic Youth Club, organise some charity events (plus a billion other things)

Accomplishments:
None, yup that right, zilch, everything is just going at snails pace. Finding a job is so hard and my laziness is just unbelievable

Arghh!

Waslaam

Up North

2005-07-04T17:44:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

InshaAllah ur all well,

Well I'm back from Scotland. Was good, was very good. Made a stand against the darn G8, good for nothing, dumb a$$ leaders!

You'll be glad to no that I didn't get into any sorta trouble, no rioting, no getting arrested. Got home safe and sound in one peice.

I picked up a scootish accent aswell...

No i didn't : (

Plastic Wallet

2005-06-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Exams have finally finished! I have the whole summer ahead of me. It's gonna be great!

This Saturday that's coming I'ma go up to Scotland InshaAllah, should be fun, i'm going to protest- G8 an all. Pray I don't get arrested, my dad will literally kill me! LOL

The Second Musketeer

2005-06-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

To be or not the be, that is the question...

Waslaam

Uh-oh!

2005-06-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

I’m sat there trying to cram as much information in my brain as possible, when all of a sudden I start to feel sick. A dull feeling spreads over me. Anxiousness? I can't be coming down with anything!? Wait! I have an exam- tomorrow! Argh, I think it really has kicked in for real now. I feel ill.

My Lord Allah increase me in knowledge [Surah Ta-ha, Verse 114]

Wasalaam

Ummm...?

2005-06-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
InshaAllah you’re all well!

Erm what to blog about today? Don’t really no, I’m bored and I don’t want to revise anymore. I’m sick of revising for exams, sick of complaining about exams and sick of doing the darn things (I’ve only done 2 lol)

Nehoo, the other day I was walking in town and I saw two guys on a skate board! Man it took me back to my obsession with Tony Hawks (the game!) a summer or two back. Good game, I played it all summer trying to clock it. I got on to the last level and then forgot about it.

Since playing it I wanted a skate board – still do. I think they are ace, I can’t skate or anything but I still want one. Make a stand while I’m at it. Don’t see many muslimahs on a skate board do you? I also got into that rock/punk style music >_< Weird! And whats more weird is that now I have that stupid skater boy song in my head! *sigh*

Wasalaam

Culture and mangoes

2005-06-11T04:34:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

InshaAllah ur all well

There's two things that I will never understand about paki folk.

1)Their wierd twisted, marsharah this, tal-lak that culture. (don't ask me what them words mean- I don't know) . I think I will be forever having stupid arguements/debates with my mum and sister about pakistani culture. For them it can do no wrong, for me it can do no right!

2) Thier obsession with mangoes. Summer is here, so no doubt you've seen the paki folk rushing down to thier local grocery stores to pick up a few 100 (slight exxageration) boxes of mango, then force feed thier kids it cos they brought it for them to eat!

Dunno, maybe these things are just wierd to me.

Sa-kol-lo-jee

2005-06-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
InshaAllah you’re all well, and for those who have exams, are working hard!

Well I have my psychology exam next Friday! I have like 50 studies to learn!

Nehooo I thought I’d share this with you. This conversation popped into my head, it was between my niece and nephew some time back. I remember it cos I was laughing so much when I heard them. An since I am meant to be revising right now I thought I’d analyse it. (Man! I really am losing the plot!)

Teekrah- I feel like to kill you (LOL)
Kashi- Go on then
Teekrah- But I’m not allowed.

According to Kohlberg’s Cognitive Development Theory, my cute lil niece (who was about 5/6 at the time) was at Level 1: Pre Conventional Morality, Stage 1- Obeying rules to avoid punishment, without necessarily understanding them.

Let’s not quit my day job eh! :$

Wasalaam

Bollywood...

2005-06-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

I have more chance of getting into Bollywood than passing my exams and I can't even speak Urdu. LOL

That just about says it all!

22 Questions...

2005-06-01T14:36:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: In many ways the legacy of Madness for sociologist was created in... Duh du duuuhh!

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: Air

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: Top Gear (I was in the anything but revision mode)

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: Mmm 12.30

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 2:16 LOL I woke up at 12, how could it have been 12.30

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: Errmm birdies!

7: When did you last step outside? Yesterday >_<

8: What are you wearing?: Clothes!

9: Number 9 is missing. Lets think of another question. Where has number 9 gone?: 7 8 9 (OMG how lame!)

10: Did you dream last night?: Yes, I was reading the Quran... Surah Ta-Ha.. i think O_o

11: When did you last laugh? Yesterday, most probably at my own joke!

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?: Paint

13: Seen anything weird lately?: Everything is wierd to me

14: What do you think of this quiz?: Is alright i suppose (i'd say sad but what does that say about me who's sat here doing it)

15: What is the last film you saw?: Castaway, boring but good at the same time

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: Tickets outta this dump :D

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: I have an alter ego called edwina (?)

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: Take over the world MUHAHAHAHA.... Nah i'd create an Islamic State

19: Do you like to dance?: No!

20: George Bush: Burn baby burn!

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Mmmm.. err... Dunno!

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Mmmm.. err... pass again

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?: Yup (InshaAllah) can't wait!

What if...

2005-05-30T13:19:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

What if the sky was pink instead of blue? Would the world function any differently? Would there be any sort of change at all? Would I look up at the sky and wonder what if the sky was blue?

What if I had been born one year earlier or one year later? Would I be the same? Would it make any sort of difference to my life? I guess it would, I would have different friends, I would be doing something totally different right now and I’m pretty sure this blog wouldn’t exist… well there’s another ‘what if…’

What if I was born ‘back home’? Lived in good ol’ Kashmir. Would I think the same? Would I have the same interests, ambitions, perceptions of the world? Would I even know what an ambition is? Or would I just go along with the stereo-typical roles they place on people over there? Would I be following my deen? If so would I be following it properly? Or would I sucked into the bid’ah and shirk that is rife back there?

What if I had been born a non Muslim? Would I find my way to the deen, or would I just remain lost in my own ignorance. Would Allah still choose to guide me? If so I wonder how I would face my struggles.

The great ‘what ifs…’

What if, ‘what ifs…’ didn’t exist? And we didn’t have the ability to imagine the great unknown. Would we just settle for what we have, no complaints, no nothing? Would we be less motivated to achieve our goals? What if…?

SubhanAllah pondering on what might have been is not really a good idea sometimes, but it had made me appreciate what has been given to me. Alhamdulillah, Allah has chosen to guide me and that my friends, is the best thing in the world!

Wasalaam

That's it!

2005-05-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
In sha Allah you’re all well,

Yesterday was my last day of college. (Well today is my official last day but I couldn’t be bothered going in). So that’s it, no more history lesson with zionazi, spit-firing teachers. No more boring biology lessons staring at the clock. No more double psychology on a Friday afternoon. Two whole years I have spent in that place, and well let’s just say them two years were plenty.

I remember my first day, me and my mate were waiting outside the entrance. We didn’t know anyone else, so we decided to go round talking to any random person, bad idea! We start talking to this girl and she was one weird person. Anyway the first year was alright, got used to the new surroundings, people. Had some bad days but I guess it was not too bad.

This year though has dragged. Totally and utterly dragged! I think I forced myself to go to college since the start of September. Even though I have made some of the bestest friends this year, I haven’t enjoyed it one bit. I didn’t really enjoy my lessons, nothing really interested me. I just did it cos I had nothing else to do. I put myself through so much boredom cos I had nothing else to do? >_< Man!

Well at least I can say that I have done it. I have survived my college life. All bad things come to and end, and college most certainly has (other than the fact that I will be going in to revise my arse off- lessons may be over but exams are only just beginning). It’s an experience in life a boring one but none the less an experience! InshaAllah I will get something positive out of it (some A Levels). Only thing is, if I ever live to old age, I will never be say that college life are the best years of your existence- unless that it the future doesn’t get much better :D

Wasalaam

PS- Please make dua that I do well in my coming exams. JazakAllah Khaire

The dog, driver and me

2005-05-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I almost got run over!

I made my way to the shop today, as usual day dreaming. I was walking up the street, when all of a sudden I see a black thing coming at me from the corner of my eye. I turned to look – an ugly black dog. As though an automatic reaction I jumped into the middle of the road, a car was coming as well. The car stopped – Alhamdulillah. The driver and passenger didn’t half give me a weird look. As soon as I jumped on the road, I start laughing to myself, whilst in my head I was like Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah!

This is like the second time I have ran into the middle of the road, because of a dog. Only the time before it was a busy road! >_<

Well what can I say, a true paki/kashmiri reaction! Come on all pakis are scared of dogs!

Tajweed Rules!

2005-05-21T18:49:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Tajweed of the Quran is the study of getting the correct pronunciation when reciting it so that the meaning comes out as intended by Quran.

One of my aims in life is to learn Tajweed and memorize the Quran. Even though I haven’t really made any real efforts to accomplish my aim, InshaAllah one day!

A while back I got a colour coded Tajweed Quran. I have to say it is really good (though I have a lot of difficulty understanding it). It highlights all the places where you have to apply certain rules, such as nasal sounds, elongations of the letters etc. I have read the meaning of each rule and well to be totally honest I don’t really understand them all. So far I only understand the red (pronouncing certain letters that have a sukun on them with a jerking sound) Its quite difficult to apply each rule, I find my self turning back to the definitions page each time I encounter a word that needs a rule applied.

I always used to say, I’ma learn Tajweed one day InshaAllah, but I never realised how accurate you have to be. I used to listen to Quran recitation to try and better my pronunciation but it’s only when you know that there’s a rule that applies here that you realise it when you’re listening to the recitation.

So far my quest to learn Tajweed is not going to well. Just getting a colour coded Quran is not enough. I have two main problems:

1) I have no teacher, to teach me the rules and listen to my pronunciation. I need to find a place that teaches Tajweed, but I haven’t been successful so far. Saying that, I haven’t made much of an effort looking. I can’t just say I need to find a place that teaches Tajweed and then not look for one.

2) College and other stuff have got in the way of me learning properly. I haven’t really looked at the Quran for a long time. I try to read the translation everyday, but I haven’t read the Arabic for a long, long time. One of the problems is that now that I have a colour coded Quran, when I am reading it I feel so bad, because I know that I am reading wrong. It just puts me of all together. Plus exams coming up means I have been really tied up with college work and revision

InshaAllah one of my plans for summer is to take active steps to find a place that runs Tajweed classes. Until then, I need to start making more of an effort, download some simple, clear recitation that I can follow and not shy of from reading the Quran – face my fears basically!

Mock!

2005-05-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Well what can I say, after a ‘high’ comes a fall! (Or however that saying goes) I got my History Mock exam results today. A pathetic E. I can’t believe it. Ok so I no I didn’t revise or anything but still, come on I at least should have got a D (not that, that’s any better). This should motivate me to work for the real thing (it’s in a few weeks) but instead it’s had the opposite affect. I can’t be bothered with history any more. I need a C minimum for uni but I know I’m not going to get that! I might as well give up while I’m ahead. The British paper is going to be tough- I don’t know anything. I thought at least this Russia paper will be alright but nope, I’m going to fail that as well.

I also have to do a stupid mock paper for the British Module. I skived double history on Monday (when we were supposed to do it) There was no point me going, I spent the week end revising for my real exam so I knew nothing about the mock. I’m not going to sit there and waste 2 hours on something I’m going to get a crap mark on. Only now I have to do it at home, he (my teacher) came into my other history class today and gave us to do if for tomorrow, I really can’t be bothered. I really don’t know anything about it!

Wasalaam

The days 'events'

2005-05-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I walked into college and it was surprisingly quiet (eerie atmosphere) I remembered lower 6th have stood down (WOHOO!) So no-more snotty nosed lil kids to deal with :D. So that's one change. I went to the library to revise- that pretty much routine now, going to the library. Did a bit of work, went to registration and then my first lesson as usual, nothing new! So here's where the big surprise comes (for me anyway) my teacher was handing out exam essay we had done. Guess what I got?? An A!! And not just any old A, 100%, full marks! (I think that is my first A this year) I spent ages on that work as well, so the hard work paid of. It's so satisfying doing well. I just hope I can do that well in the real thing. But then my teacher goes to me, can I tell them (the class) what you got, I was like yeh whatever. So she starts going on about how I got 100% and answered the question so well. I went bright red- though I got a few claps (I don't like being placed in the spotlight). So after that lesson I went into the library (it's my second home) until my friend goes to me, aren't you going to biology. I was like eh!? She's like biology lesson now. Man if she didn't tell me I would of missed biology (without even intending to). So I went to class, 10 minutes late, my Bruce Forscythe look-alike teacher making some sort of sarcy comment I didn't hear. The lesson was boring as usual.

So I was walking into town, like I do everyday. Only now and then, a little bit of interest is put into the journey (like when weirdo drunkards come and start talking to you) Well today, I was walking through the shopping centre, and some guys stood in front of them escalator thingy's. So I was wondering whether I should barge past him, but then realised he's a security guy. I took the steps instead. As I was walking down I saw some guy cleaning, so I'm think ahh right some idiots spilt some lucozade or something, that's why they stopped the escalators. Only I got it a little wrong, there must have been a bust up or something cos the 'lucozade' was blood (in my defence it looked orange (!)) So yeh there was a fight I missed it, everyone was talking about it in the shopping centre, a bunch of paki's were gathered outside, probably discussing it, which makes me think it was some paki in the fight.

So there you go the day's events... so far. Just writing this has made me realise I have a very routine life- quite sad hu

Wasalaam

Exams Begin

2005-05-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

So I have an exam tomorrow and here I am blogging. I started proper revision yesterday; spent all day revising, well to be truthful I spent more time taking breaks. I just get distracted to easily, I can’t sit and revise for more than 10-20 mins. Today I was planning to start revising after Fajr, only I didn’t wake up until 7.30! Then I quickly got up, prayed and went back to sleep. I had to force myself out of bed at 12.30. It is now half 2 and I am still yet to open up a book.

I need to do well in this exam, it’s AS history resit. I got a C last time but since I got a D in unit 4 I need to resit a few papers cos I need a C overall – I was hoping to get a B but that’s out of the picture. So for this paper I should get a high B minimum, but I don’t know, lack of revision an all! I think I am re-entering the ‘I can’t be bothered with this crap’ phase, it explains my lack effort.

Please make dua’ that I do well, Jazaak’Allah Khaire

Wasalaam

The path of life...

2005-05-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn and before you know it your alone. You realise everyone around you, though there are still there have disappeared. Once upon a time they occupied a place in you heart, now that place is empty. Friends come, friends go but in the end you have no one but yourself.

The path that was once so clear is now blurred and each time you take a step you wonder which direction it will take you. No one said the journey would be easy, but for some reason you always thought it would be.

Each time you’re faced with a struggle you try to take the easy way out until finally you have no other option but to face you fears. Its then when you try to stand up bravely, overcome all the obstacles of life that you tried so hard to ignore, but a lifetime of ease has made you weak and so you fail miserably.

It’s then when you question yourself, do you go on, do you keep on fighting? Or do you once again take the easy option- take a back seat and let others dictate your life?

Conspiracy?

2005-05-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

So it’s raining, I mean chucking it down. Everyone around me is running to and fro the college grounds, trying not to get drenched. I just walk across to the biology building.

So anyway I get into the ‘nice’ dry building, walk into the ‘cosy, warm’ classroom, another hour of fun filled biology lesson (yeh!) with a teacher that looks like Bruce Forscythe, however you spell his name! (Do you feel my pain?) Everyone’s commenting on the weather. ‘But siiiiirrrrrr, its rain and thunder in the middle of summer??!!’ I just look outside, the rain is quite nice but a tad depressing as well- don’t ask me why.

Just as we’re about to start the lesson, what happens… the fire alarm goes off! Wha… you want me go outside in this whether, no chance... Ahh alright then. I mumbled something about the health and safety officer laughing evilly in his/her office (I am assuming that it was just a 'trial run'). My friend just laughed and followed me outside. I was being serious!

So there we were in the freezing cold (ok it’s wasn’t cold at all, just extremely wet) All was ok though, we just squashed under the shelter, watching the rain pour down. (You can't beat us Mr Evil health and safety man!)

Pure coincidence that it happens to be chucking it down when the fire alarm goes off? I think not!

Arab-beee?

2005-04-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
In sha Allah you are all well.

Well as usual it is me who runs all the errands (ok no one else was at home for my mum to ask, but that’s beside the point) Anyway, my mum called me down to go to the local grocery shop to get a few stuff. So i stick on my jilbaab, hijaab and start walking up the street. It’s a pretty nice day (man it’s a very nice day), wanted to walk nice and slowly but my mum told me to hurry up. Anyway so i get to the shop and head straight for the tomatoes- first thing on the shopping list. So there i am minding my own business, looking for some decent tomatoes (was talking my time but who cares) and this old geeza that works at the shop goes to me... well actually i don't know what he said to be honest, i think she was speaking Pashto, or Farsi or whatever Afghani’s speak- i think he was afghani anyways. I didn't have a clue what he said so i was like, what do i do, ignore him, pretend i didn't hear him or just nod and smile. I decided to ignore him and pretend to be deeply engrossed in tomato picking. So he goes ' Arab-beeee' - it took me a while to get what he was saying. When i finally figured it out was like no, trying my best not to laugh. (Man me an Arab LOL!) Then a few minutes later he goes 'Ahhh Pakis- staaah- ni' I was like yeh and walked off, as fast as i could- the crappy tomatoes would have to do!

Waslaam and bye

UCAS - The stress returns

2005-04-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum
In sha Allah ur all well,

Well, where do i begin? Any student will tell u the stresses of the UCAS process. It really is a pain in the back side. But for those who wanna go to uni its gotta be done. So you fill out a form, make a few choices, sounds quite simple... only its 10 times worse than you imagined.

Once i finally submitted my application it was like a huge weight of my shoulder. Only now the real problems begin. Personal statements are a doddle compared to actually accepting an offer... well for me anyway!

I dunno what to choose. I applied for Middle Eastern Studies with either Arabic or politics. Only which one do i go for. Arabic, politics, arabic politics?? And thats only half of it. I also applied for Islamic Studies as a back up, but now i read the outline of the course properly its actually quite tempting. The thing is tho the 3 choices are so similar. I dunno what to choose.

Whats stressing me out though, is that i far pressing matters to deal with and this is just a nuisance. The deadline is 28/4/05 which is quite soon. Man i'ma just do the dip or something. Can't be bothered with this crap at the moment.

Snooker

2005-04-19T14:59:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
In sha Allah ur all well.

Why does everyone hate snooker? I get picked on for watching such a boring sport. Ok at times it is a bit boring, but that’s only when a crap player is playing, or the matches are scrappy. But when someone you are supporting is playing it is really good.

You know snooker requires alot of skill. You have to be so darn precise, good at maths an' stuff. And judging the pace at which you hit the ball is not as easy as it looks. I remember playing a while back, found it quite hard actually.

I guess one of the reasons I like snooker is because when I was a kid, I once helped my brother make a snooker table. It was one of his 'projects' and I was his little side kick. Man I remember how I would stand at the corner of the 'table' with my hands cupped near the pocket ready to catch the ball as my brother potted it - the table had yet to include something to catch the ball with, so my brother insisted I improvise! After all that we did get a proper snooker table, I loved it, would play with it all the time. Was quite good for a kid, better than I am now anyways. Those were the good ol' days...

Another reason I like it is cos my dad likes it. And even though me and dad are very different people, I guess snooker was the only similarity (man that’s quite sad innit) Funny when I look back though, how me and him would argue about who's going to win. Me a loyal Hendry supporter and dad a loyal Hendry's opponent supporter.

Ok so I no most of you will be thinking weirdo. But give it a chance I say. Some good stuff at times, some good stuff!

Damn Coursework!

2005-04-18T01:19:00.001-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
In sha Allah u are all well.

Man I am having such a crap day and its only 9.20!

It all began when I woke up from having the weirdest dream, which I won't even bother going into. I couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to get up, get ready for college and go in to finish of my coursework, even though I have the morning off and could sleep until half 10 if I wanted to.

Anyhow, so here I am, meant to be doing my biology coursework but MAN I am so confuzzled, I think I have done all my graph (which I spent all day yesterday doing) all wrong. But I’m not sure, and I can't ask anyone, and I can't be bothered thinking cos its 9.20 in the morning and I should be asleep! ARGHHH!

And the funny thing is I bet u I have done it right and I’m just stressing for no damn reason. I feel like punching someone at the moment but that wouldn't be very wise.

God man I’m such a stress head!

Wasalaam and bye

Operation Increase Intelligence

2005-04-16T04:34:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

In sha Allah ur all doing well!

Ok for a while now I have been planning to start reading more, so not only do I increase my knowledge about stuff but also increase my very limited vocabulary and become and all together cleverer person! (Why am I making a face whilst typing that?) Anyways, my plan was to read more newspapers, books and swot up on college stuff and politics. So for like a day I bought 'The Guardian' which I do enjoy reading but I realised newspapers just clutter my already cluttered room, cos it takes me a few days to read the damn paper - I get bored easily ok!

So then I decided to read books! And well do enjoy reading a good book now and then, but I just don't have the time. There are a shelf full of books that I was planning to go through, but my laziness plus lack of time has left them sitting there accumulating dust. I plan to read in the summer >_<. Actually in my defence am reading the 'Translation of the Quran' at the moment. Good stuff I say :D It’s the only thing that doesn't bore me after a while!

So ok what was next on the list... ah yes college stuff? So yeh that would include dipping into 'Biology for A-Level' which I don't even use for revision let alone for extra reading! History stuff is going alright though. I recently got out a few books on Stalin and one about British democracy O_o, one of the Stalin books is quite alright to read a page now and then, but the British one is a loada crap, just like the British paper that I’m doing- never been a fan of British History, they were a boring lot!

Ok so maybe I didn't quite succeed in the extra reading for college, the newspapers and stuff BUT I have done something extremely swotty, and I must say I am quite proud of myself! Whilst sitting in the college IT suite 'doing' my psychology coursework, I decided to check up what’s happening the world- the usual crap about the coming elections which I didn't even bother reading. Instead I came a across the 'Road Map to Peace' - a document outlining the creation a 'viable Palestinian state' alongside 'Israel' so I printed it out and read it. It has to be one of the biggest pile of crap I have ever read. I have also recently printed out a 36 page report on stuff that’s happening in Chechnya and some other stuff on Kashmir.

So even though that is really swotting 1) Politics interests me- especially stuff concerning the Muslims world and 2) I think its important to get keyed up on stuff that’s happening in Muslim countries such as Palestine, Kashmir, Chechnya etc Especially Kashmir and Chechnya cos no-one has a clue whats happning there- if they know where abouts in the world they are in the first place. The god-damn royal family get more attention than the war crimes that happening there!

So there you go; Operation Increase Intelligence, I dare you to join me (LOL)

Wasalaam and bye

Who needs the sound of music

2005-04-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

In sha Allah you are all well.

Who needs the sound of music, when you got the Quran recitation! I have to say, there is nothing better than listening to Quran recitation by one of my favorite recitors- Ibrahiem Al Jibreen! MashaAllah he has a beautiful voice! So now I share with you all the beauty of the Quran. Even tho I can't hear anything cos my speakers are mashed, the rest of you can listen to Surah Al-Bayina (just there on the right). Also for the non Muslims here is a link to the translation of the Quran if your interested: http://quraan.com/index.aspx?tabindex=1&tabid=27

During the past few weeks I have really experienced one of the amazing miracles of Allah SWT. Just reading the translation of the Quran leaves me totally amazed and in awe. Whilst listening to it, leaves tear running down my eyes, out of love for my Lord. I can't thank Allah SWT enough for making me a Muslim.

Another reason why I am happy today is because I finally completed my mission (gotta make it sound exciting) Islam channel- the Islamic channel launched on sky some time back, have this Quran Recitaion programme. They have the most beautiful recitor ever. When I first heard it I was like W O W. Absolutely amazing! Since then I had been trying to find out who the guy was! I searched high and low, I emailed the channel -no reply, I searched the net, everywhere but couldn't find his name. But finally I have not only found his name, I found a website that I can download his translation. In sha Allah in the next few days I will put it up for y'all to listen. And for those who wanna download his stuff, his name is Tawfeeq As-Sayegh and you can download his recitation at: http://www.al-qaria.net/index.php - go to downloads section (you may need to register)

Hope you enjoy listening, take care

Wasalaam and bye

Will the boredom ever cease?

2005-04-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

In sha Allah you are all well.

Well as expected I did zero work in the holidays, absolutely none what so ever. The thing is I really can't be bothered any more. What is the point! (Ok there is a point, but I can't be bothered) Surely there must be something more productive to do then slave away for years in education, to get a job to.. well slave away some more!

I'm just really bored at the moment, with everything! And that's the problem. I used to be so passionate about stuff, and now I think ahhh what's the point. I remember I was always up for a good argument with anyone who dared disagree with me about politics or something. Now I'm just passive, I'm done arguing and trying to make people understand right from wrong (Looks like I still have my arrogance aye!) I'm kinda sick of everything at the moment, I need something new to do, a holiday, an adventure.. something!

Ahh well for now I just gotta stick to it I guess.

Take care all

Wasalaam and bye.

Holleeee-dayz

2005-03-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

Asalamu Alaikum
In sha Allah you are all well,

Well Easter holidays have begun. Two whole weeks of pure, 'chllin', relaxing and solid revision. I am determined to work these holidays, revise hard, and In sha Allah it'll pay of when I do my exams.

Only thing is while I am typing this I'm thinking- 'yeh right!' Like I am gonna revise. I don't even know the meaning of the word! Every time, before the holidays I say i'ma revise, every time I do zero work. Wake up mid-day, have my breakfast at lunch and waste the rest of the day doing, anything and everything- except for work.

BUT... this time I am determined! I WILL work (man I remember telling myself that last holidays) It's different this time though, this time I am motivated, this time I actually wanna revise (do I??) Arghhh man why am I arguing with myself. Lets just see how it goes, though I already know the outcome.

Wasalaam and bye.

Anniversary's and Birthdays

2005-03-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,

In sha Allah you are all well.

Well today is by birthday, yup 18 today! But more importantly today is my jilbab-iversary. Exactly 1 month since I 'donned' the jilbaab. I remember it clearly, Valentines day, love was in the air, and I wore the Jilbaab for the first time. I love it! I woulda thought it would be hard but nah, its like chalk and cheese... erm I mean strawberries and cream, me and jilbaab just go together. For those who haven't a clue what I am on about. Jilbaab is Islamic dress, it's basically one big 'dress' that covers the body. Errmm I'll link a website, lemme find one http://www.desertstore.com/abaya.html.

Moving on to the birthday, yeh so I'm 18, big deal. I don't get the hype over birthdays. Everyone's like HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAZ!!' And I'm just like yeh! I know no-ones gonna get me but I really don't get why people love their birthdays so much, especially their 18th (ok its an excuse to get drunk, but I'm a Muslims, and I, in no way wanna poison myself with ermm well poison) AND as a Muslim I don't celebrate birthdays.

Nehow, 14th March Jilbaab aniversary or birthday. I go for an average spring day!

Wasalaam and bye

Result

2005-03-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

Well results were in today for the January exams. I was soo nervous yesterday, I would randomly feel anxious and then I would remember results!

Walking into history was the worse. Everyone including the teacher seemed not to be bothered that today was results day. Then outta the blue my teacher goes 'I have you results here' and everyone went silent, then a few nervous giggles and then silence. What made it worse was that my teacher goes that people got what they deserved (in a not very nice way) and that this years U6 was the laziest ever (basically saying we have done crap).

He set us some work and then talked to us individually about my results. I sat there staring into space until my name was called. You got a D in paper 4. Just like that I had hardly sat down! Then while he decided to dally with his papers, I just nodded my head and said nothing. A D??? I can't believe it. How crap! On a plus side I re-sat paper 2 and got a B, but I can't get over the D. I have soooooo much work ahead of me now.. gonna have to resit!

As for the rest of my result, well they were ok-ish to brilliant. I got a B in biology mod 4 (4 marks of an A), a B in general studies (too bad it doesn't count for nething) and a C in psychology, which is very disappointing but its most probable that the examining body have under marked ppl, cos every one did so bad! As for maths, another D.. but I can't be asked with it nemore, can't believe I was dumb enough to do it neways!

I can't believe my bio results. THANK YOU ALLAH!!!! I didn't expect that one at all.

Well to neone who got their results today (or will be getting them soon) In sha Allah you've done well. Chin up!

Wasalaam

Time Wasting

2005-03-09T10:22:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum,
In sha Allah you are all well.

I seem to be the queen of time wasting! And it's one thing that I hate being good at. I can just waste hours and hours of time and achieve absolutely nothing! And then when I look back at the day and think about what I have done, I only have one sad answer.. nothing!

I don't think many people realize the importance of time. Life is so short yet everyone everyone (especially me) just wastes it as tho its never ending. Only probably is one day, its gonna hit you hard, one day, life's gonna end, but we don't think about it.. Well not enough. I don't really no what exactly I'm getting at. Well I guess I'm telling myself to get my act together, do something, something worthwhile, something pleasing.. Something!! I read a review of a book (can't remember its name) it was about time, and it talked about how some of the greatest Islamic scholars never even wasted a second of their time. They would teach Islam by day, and write books by night. Pretty amazing hu, spending every moment of your life striving for Allah!

Ibn Nasud (ra) said: 'I regret a day on which the sun sets and my life span decreases while my good deeds have not increased'

Ya Allah grant us all the imaan to devote our lives to the path of Islam

Wasalaam

I Present To You...

2005-03-07T10:51:00.000-08:00

Asalaamu Alaikum

InshaAllah you are all well. I was thinking one day, I need to do something! Something new, something constructive, something interesting and beneficial. And so what do I do. I make a forum. Pretty cool hu! Only problem is I am a total dunce at computers. But I did it. I spend ages setting it up.. didn't like the look of it so I trashed it at started again.

I no I'm weird, but I am the sorta person that has to get everything right. Nehooo, i started again, new host an all, worked damn hard - again, and got it up and running. So now i can present it to all you out there: www.oneummahforums.tk

It still needs alotta of work and some more members but, man I'm proud. InshaAllah you can all benefit from it all. Please join, u'll make my day!

Wasalaam and take care

P.S remember to take a look at my forum: www.oneummahforums.tk

Asalamu Alaikum

2005-03-02T05:39:00.000-08:00

InshaAllah you are all well.

Welcome to my blog! I don't really know what else to say... well its snowing outside right now (In MARCH!!) But unfortunately not enough, its all turning into slush. I hate slush. All wet (duh!) and slippery. You can't prevent urself from slipping without walking like a complete idiot. And you can't not walk like a complete idiot without slipping and falling flat on ur face. But I do love snow.. a lot. Interesting thing to tell you lot about myself hu!

Ahh well my welcome, isn't much of a welcome, so I'll leave y'all to it. Take care alles

Wasalaam and bye

Insanity of the Sane

Moving Out

Poverty in a world so full of wealth!?!

Dirasah Arabiyah - Studing Arabic?

The Magicians Spoke But We Stay Slient

Just stuff

Welcome to Kashmir

Ar-Ra'd

It is He who sends down rain from the sky

Why?

Finito ...!!

Paradise

Boredom

Sacrifice

Identity, Sisterhood and Loving for the Sake of Allah

Need [mental] help...

For the sake of Allah...

Al-Lughah Al-Arabiyah

Argh!

Thoughts...

Ya Ummah...

Al Ghurabaa' - The Strangers

Hypocrisy

Hardest Aspect of Worship

Fair Trade Fortnight

There's no place like home

Surah Al Kahf

Working hard

*Blows Dust*

His mercy...

1st Dhul Hijjah

Hajj

I don't no

Tom Tom's

I'm meanta be working...

Sunday

There's a rat in ma kitchen...

Guess who's back in town?

Eid

Easy Target

Re-education

The story so far...

Quake

Ramadhan

Da'wah

Back to school

Preparing for Ramadhan 2

Uni

Preparing for Ramadhan...

Tranquility

Progress Report

Back-ache

News

Liberating

Stuff...

Snails Pace

Up North

Plastic Wallet

The Second Musketeer

Uh-oh!

Ummm...?

Culture and mangoes

Sa-kol-lo-jee

Bollywood...

22 Questions...

What if...

That's it!

The dog, driver and me

Tajweed Rules!

Mock!

The days 'events'

Exams Begin

The path of life...

Conspiracy?

Arab-beee?

UCAS - The stress returns

Snooker

Damn Coursework!

Operation Increase Intelligence

Who needs the sound of music

Blows Dust